When I woke this morning, I did have a reason for quiet. Today, I was seeking solitude.

A month to the day I lost my Grandma, my heart and mind are still working around some very raw emotions (yes, you read that right, I said around). Some so strong they made me feel like I wanted to run away. I needed quiet from the mess in my head. As I entered a short intermission of silence, I was moved to see that the very thoughts lingering inside my head were the ones I was most eagerly trying to escape. And that hurt.

Usually, I meet them head on, I work through them; I deal, in the best way I know how. True to form, I walked upstairs, pulled out a new canvas, and stared blankly at its bare skin. From within me, no colors or shapes, thoughts or emotions would come forth. It’s like writer’s block, only worse, because it takes hold of all my senses.

So, to break the pattern, I decided to go out in search for reference material, an outside source, something fresh and new, to serve as inspiration for my work. Slipping my camera around my neck, I stepped out for my Starbucks ritual, with a mission to catalog events from exciting to mundane -anything, really- that would create a spark and send me charging into a new, perhaps different piece of work, and obviously, keep my mind busy.

As events would have it, my car broke down shortly after leaving Starbucks. Yes, color me stranded on Hwy 50, and no, I did not take a picture my car, or a self-portrait of my rotten mood at the time, or the handsome devil that stopped to help. Not that he could, but hey, eye candy –who can say no to that? Anyway, as soon as the car’s engine turned, I headed home. A reason for quiet? Hardly.

However, energy follows intention. I’m not a believer of coincidence. I set out for something this morning, and sure enough, I found it right where I had started off, at home and, within me.

All I had to do is listen.

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Go check my post at Metroblogging Orlando, regarding the upcoming art exhibition at sixspace that will feature Laura Mosquera’s Beauty in the Breakdown. The artist has a piece titled A Reason For Quiet, which was very much on the same wavelength as to how I started my day, and the story speaks to something still tender in my heart. I used its title as the title for this post.