My Lobster got home last night -keys, cellphone and snail-mail in hand as usual- puckers one on my lips and says, "Hey, got you a little surprise" (at home, we call presents 'surprises').

My first thought was 'that's so nice and so sweet and and a thrill because it's unexpected', considering that I didn't ask for anything and that there isn't really any special occasion, and besides, our anniversary isnt' until April anyway.

Sure, there's lots of things a girl could by, but my wishlist isn't very long -well, except when it comes to books or art supplies. All I wanted was several skeins of yarn and needles to knit myself a scarf and a throw, and some watercolor pencils, and he'd already gotten them for me the night before! So I is a very happy girl.

And so, he hands me this pretty little bag, with my little gift inside. He walks away, starts up the stairs, and turns around, just in time to see my expression.

You want to know what I found in my little bag?

I.CANT.STOP.GRINNING.

Because even when every teacher I saw told me she was "to little to be taught guitar", she rocked on to her heart and soul's desire. I took video and clapped in glee. Four years old in these pictures, singing and strumming to the Eagles, Hell Freezes Over - DVD.

She has never failed to add some music in my life -specially when I need it most.

The beginning of the new year usually marks a time where most everyone makes detailed plans, goals, and changes they wish to implement and maintain throughout the year. It's time for resolutions. It's the perfect time to do so, as it also serves to monitor our progress as the year goes by. So far, I've enjoyed reading your resolutions (those of you who chose to share them online), and now I'd like to share some of mine as well.

Before I forget, someone wanted to see my hairstyle... :)

I got back into the gym in December, and have been working out nearly every day. So far, so good. I plan to keep up with working out a minimum of 4 times a week if I can't make it every day. Being sick for so long and so often last year, add to that my battles with depression and sleeplessness, has taken a toll on my body and my health. I've lost strength in my back, which only makes my back problems worse. My tailbone continues to hurt, specially when sitting for more than 30 or 40 minutes. So it's back to strength training among the obvious goal of losing weight. Losing weight aleviates the strain on the back, so the benefit is two-fold. My first session with the trainer was hell. I had never felt so bad. I almost passed out, and it was humiliating (in my own eyes). I wasn't doing anything that my body hadn't done before. It hurt inside and out and in my head and heart. My spirit felt broken. When one reaches the bottom, where it's so deep and dark and depressing, the only way left to go is up. So that's where I'm aiming -UP!

Up... in several areas of my life, creatively as well. These past couple of months I've been in a sort of creative lull. It was very abrupt; I'm sure many of you noticed. Sometimes a break is very much needed, but now I want to get all the ideas that are budding in my head out onto paper. I want to draw daily, for practice, for process. I love drawing with colored pencils and graphite and charcoal, but I particularly want to learn to draw in pen and ink. I love ink drawings and sketchings! But to do them myself? Ugh! I find ink to be very unforgiving, and it takes me out of my comfort zone. Therefore, I always ended up totally avoiding it. The thing is, it wasn't always this way. I remember back when I began drawing I used my Dad's ball-point pens... almost exclusively. So when did that change? Anyhow, there's some detective work to be done. And there's the challenge. So another goal for me, and I'm diving right into it. I plan on making at least one ink sketch every couple of weeks. Practice will make my art better, and give me more working material for my paintings. I'll be looking everywhere -and at everything- for inspiration. I'll be carrying my sketchbook everywhere I go, and probably sketch in public, too. I'm also planning on going to art school this year, and taking at least one class.

I haven't been reading as much as I love to. Read at least two books a month; one of them a classic. I'll keep track of the books I'm reading, maybe even post reviews.

I want to write more poems, and do so regurlarly. Writing poetry is something I haven't done for a while... and as I write this thought, I suddenly realize why. God... that hit me like a train. *sob*

Family... being far from family is hard, specially when the family keeps growing. Today, my little brother and his wife welcomed little baby Gabriella into the world. I don't know when I'll be able to see them. They must be so happy! There's also my parents... they must be so excited, too. I miss my parents. *sigh*

Friends -going to spend the day with a very special one tomorrow. More like a sister. :)

Ok, quick recap before I go to sleep. I have a lot on my mind now.

• lose 2 dress sizes
• strengthen legs and back
• one ink drawing/sketch bi-weekly
• use pen and ink more often
• sketch in public
• take one class in art school
• read 2 books a month
• spend more time with family and friends more often

I actually love my little list here. I'm sure it will keep growing, and things will be crossed out, hopefully in a good way.

Yes, a new year has come, and I'm left thinking 2005 breezed by incredibly fast. So many things to remember from last year, and so many new things to look forward to this year.

I think I've finally sorted out what was wrong with my site not showing properly. Sometimes, new things can be a challenge. New designs sometimes are, particularly when you forget to delete the old stuff -all the old stuff. I don't think you can have two different MT installs pointing to the same place, know what I mean? Because then both the old and the new cannot display properly. Anyhoo, I think it's working now. :o)

I've retouched my hair -well, sort of- just gave it a bit more zing, gone a bit more bold with my white stripe. Almost white. Trust me, I like it.

New goals and new resolutions. I have them all written down in my journal. I'm hoping to get some time in tomorrow to share some of them with you. Let me know if you have yours up already so I may enjoy reading.

I'm hoping you all had a blast for your respective end-of-the-year parties, and more importantly, that you were able to spend time with those you love. Here at Casa Zee we did, even in the middle of being sick. I have several emails to reply to, but just in case I don't get a chance this week, I'll do it here. Thank you for all your best wishes and warm thoughts. I'm looking forward to another year shared with you all.

I'm missing previous entries, I know. I'll be working on restoring them this week.

Wish me luck.

which is a nice thing to do I think, to welcome a new year. Wanted to try something different, and I'm going to give it some time to see if it takes. I hope it all looks pretty good as I work out any mishaps.