There are some people in this life that I've had on my list of people I'd love to meet. One of these is Clayton Bownds.

He is an inspiration for me in the realm of photography. I admire his talent immensely, the way his eyes see the world around him is quite unique and speaks to my spirit. His macro and critter shots not only amused me, but my children as well. I aspired to achieve such a talent. Then I saw his portraits, and I was immediately blown away. My favorite of his models: Erin Lynn, Clayton's wife. Beautiful.

Through her portraits, Erin Lynn's eyes always made me feel like she knew something, perhaps a secret of mine. You know, those piercing eyes, the kind that seem to gazed into your soul. Eyes aren't just the window into the soul, but the mechanisim by which, in my opinion, spirit recognizes each other.

A few days ago, after months of being without a camera, I purchased a beautiful one, graduating myself into the world of SLR's. Even with my fractured thumb, I've been able to play with my new baby. I immediately thought of Clayton, how I've missed his blog; there was a time where he devoted all his creative energy to Professional Photography. More to admire!

Today I decided to drop by his domain, after such a long time without visiting, to see if he was blogging again, thank him once more for inspiring me. I found that he is blogging, and I immediately began scrolling down to check some of his new material. I found one that caught my eye, his self-portrait. And it shook me. In his big, beautiful eyes I recognized something, and it stung. It was the 'sign' of loss.

As it always does, it sent a shiver down my spine. I've always seen this in people, even when I was a little girl, and it always made me very sad. Early last year, my Grandma passed away. Upon my return home, I was about to step in the shower, and as I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw it. It was now in my eyes, too.

Just below his self portrait was everything I needed to know. As I read it, I shook my head in disbelief. I must be reading this wrong. No way. Not fair. Followed the link. It's still unreal. My heart goes out to him, towards a person I've never met in real life, but really admire.