I'm a sigh away from pitching a fit. I need to do something about this, and fast. Now that I'm back online, I don't have time to waste weeding my comments.

I wonder if I can close my eyes and make it all dissapear...

I say 15 months is a well enough time to be out of the blogosphere. Initially, I had envisioned several things including a redesign of this site, and a new one, to focus more on my art. Well, it turned out that my creativity needed a much more tangible involvement. I spent this past year diving into my art full force, specifically into clay. I was even chosen to take part in an art show this past November, in which one of my paintings was shown.

Now it's time to come back and share. The pull has been strong. The connections are being rekindled.

This blog will continue to be my day-to-day companion and means of inviting you into my little piece of the world, while I work on my new project: Creatively Amused.

I don't want to spend too much time in the design of that site, particularly since I'll be using a different platform, WordPress, which I'm not so well versed with, although I've done some exploring of and I like it. So many of you use it so handsomely already!! However, I've found a very likely candidate to ease my migration: WP Remix. I've followed the creator, R.Bhavesh, on a tutorial offline, which is very easy to understand, making WordPress loads of fun to play with. Best yet, he is giving away one copy of the theme! Who knows, maybe I'll be the lucky one! There's even a Free WP Premium Theme, with 3 different color schemes to choose from.

So, come the new year there will definitely be new things here and at CreativelyAmused.com. I hope you don't stray too far away. I'll be knocking on your virtual doors soon!

Server move done. Now all that's left is uploading the other content, kids blogs, and other sites. Much to do, very little time.

Baby steps, right? Looks fine in Firefox; Internet Exploder, well, you know. Sucks.

There are some people in this life that I've had on my list of people I'd love to meet. One of these is Clayton Bownds.

He is an inspiration for me in the realm of photography. I admire his talent immensely, the way his eyes see the world around him is quite unique and speaks to my spirit. His macro and critter shots not only amused me, but my children as well. I aspired to achieve such a talent. Then I saw his portraits, and I was immediately blown away. My favorite of his models: Erin Lynn, Clayton's wife. Beautiful.

Through her portraits, Erin Lynn's eyes always made me feel like she knew something, perhaps a secret of mine. You know, those piercing eyes, the kind that seem to gazed into your soul. Eyes aren't just the window into the soul, but the mechanisim by which, in my opinion, spirit recognizes each other.

A few days ago, after months of being without a camera, I purchased a beautiful one, graduating myself into the world of SLR's. Even with my fractured thumb, I've been able to play with my new baby. I immediately thought of Clayton, how I've missed his blog; there was a time where he devoted all his creative energy to Professional Photography. More to admire!

Today I decided to drop by his domain, after such a long time without visiting, to see if he was blogging again, thank him once more for inspiring me. I found that he is blogging, and I immediately began scrolling down to check some of his new material. I found one that caught my eye, his self-portrait. And it shook me. In his big, beautiful eyes I recognized something, and it stung. It was the 'sign' of loss.

As it always does, it sent a shiver down my spine. I've always seen this in people, even when I was a little girl, and it always made me very sad. Early last year, my Grandma passed away. Upon my return home, I was about to step in the shower, and as I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw it. It was now in my eyes, too.

Just below his self portrait was everything I needed to know. As I read it, I shook my head in disbelief. I must be reading this wrong. No way. Not fair. Followed the link. It's still unreal. My heart goes out to him, towards a person I've never met in real life, but really admire.

I have always been a rebel, to my family anyway.

Here's another... after my own heart.

Continue reading "My Little Rebel" »

Well, I took care of the backend of Debbie's page at Ethereal Muse, and am currently working on her layout. I also have a new project, which should be live sometime late October or early November. Funny how I always dream in code when I'm working on web projects.

A lot has kept me away, mostly getting everything ready for school and getting used to the new routines, which began last week. Kids have reported they are really excited about this school year.

We had a great time with the in-laws, and we are all missing them very much. I was able to spend some one-on-one time with my mother-in-law, and I really enjoyed it. We shared deep conversation, and in a way, got to know one another all over again. We even went shopping, and I had a sneak-peak at her arts. She sews beautifully, and runs her business from home, but what I didn't know much about was Embroidery and Quilting. It is truly a wonderful art. I however, will continue to enjoy my knitting, painting, and designing.

For now, I must go draw. :)

Well... I'll do my best to answer all the questions I've received in your emails, which have been wonderful, as well as your comments. Besides, it's only about 167 emails. :) Shouldn't be to bad, right?

Having been ready and out the door since 7:30 AM, we arrived at Punta Cana at about 3 PM, which was not bad traveling at all. The flights were timely and smooth. We had a taxi waiting for us, so getting to the hotel was just a matter of minutes, just a breeze. But herein lies a paradox: time stood still for me. I thought I wouldn't get to the hotel soon enough.

Honestly, I was not emotionally prepared for witnessing the living conditions so many of those people endure on a daily basis. It was heartbreaking. My husband was not exagerating when he said to me years ago "they practically live in cardboard houses". That 20 minute drive was the longest of my life. My mind turned immediately away from our trip and onto the 5 bags of clothes and shoes I had filled in May, thinking of who would benefit the most of them, wanting to donate to a reputable charity. The answer to that was as clear as the tropical sun beaming down on us, warming us well past our comfort zone, even inside the air conditioned taxi.

As we passed the gates of the Majestic Colonial Hotel, the contrast of the 'outside world' and the one unfolding before me within the hotel premises was disparaging. I was immediately overcome with pangs of sorrow and of guilt. Only my husband noticed my hesitation, and after being together all these years, he didn't need to ask what was bothering me, just one look into my eyes and he already knew. Aren't we the lucky ones?

We had been looking forward to this vacation for months, and I meant to make the most of it, and have the grandest time with my kids and husband, so on we went. Immediately after checking in, my kids cried, "I want to go to the pool!", and we did what most everyone does when arriving: inspect the room, walk around the premises and find our way to the pool. I must share that my favorite part of our accomodation was the ocean front balcony. It was spacious! We had an outdoor jacuzzi that fit all four of us (the indoor jacuzzi wasn't as big).

I spent almost every vacation night outside. How could I resist? The view was simply amazing, and spending the nights outside, listening to the wind breeze along the palm trees and the waves breaking onto the shore was absolutely wonderful. Only once did it rain during the evening, and I let it soak me through. I hadn't enjoyed a good downpour like that since I was in 7th grade. My spirit needed it.

Well, once we found the pool, that became the place where we spent the most of our vacation time. We would swim, have drinks by the pool bar, bathe in the sun, and swim some more. I spent more time in that pool than in our home pool, even with the 3 years we've lived here. The kids loved it, and I can honestly say that was the best part of our vacation. Kiki began journaling on the hotel note pads, and I shot a picture of her first observations:

I believe it was this same evening that we met a most wonderful family (our vacation neighbors) with which we shared interesting conversation, evening meals, and the longest walk on the beach I've ever taken. Their son and my kids took wonderfully together. Guess where thy live? In Canada! I keep telling myself, I continue making this many friends in Canada, I should be thinking of relocating there pretty soon.

By noon on our second day, my husband and I were sick to our stomachs. All I can say is it was a blessing that it we were sick, and not our kids. It was terrible. Out of all the medication I carried along with me, thinking of every possible thing that might go wrong, from colds to allergic reactions to sea-sickness to asthma, guess what I forgot? That's right - no Pepto or Mylanta, no Activated Charcoal or Chlorophyl, no Imodium. We were sick throughout our entire vacation. There is no amount of drinking that can cure an upset stomach. Believe me. I tried.

Day three my husband went kayaking with our son, while I stayed at the pool with our daughter. Like I said, most of our days were spent in the pool. We stopped by the spa, where I scheduled a full day of treatment for the following Saturday, before our return home: Shiatsu, facial, manicure & pedicure, aromatherapy massage, hair coloring and styling. I was to stop in during our fourth day to do the hair coloring. I did. Since then, a 'bad hair day' has a whole new meaning for me. They burned my hair. Ruined. I had clumps of hair breaking of with the slightest touch. You don't have to try to hard to guess that I cancelled everything else I had scheduled with them, for fear they might actually break my bones during Shiatsu. I've been wearing my hair up since then, and I still have to figure out what to do with it.

Our fifth day we went for a walk on the beach with our new friends, and I swear I think we walked for two hours. We arrived at some local shops right there on the beach, and we perused around the arts and crafts. This was the day my camera was ruined. Yes, my beautiful camera died. As I helped my daughter up from being crashed into by a wave, another wave decided it woud be fun to give us a full soak, camera included. After that, I couldn't get the sand out of my pants for the life of me, and on our way back from our walk we called for a taxi due to the severe chafing my thighs were suffering. We waited nearly an hour for our taxi. Our friends decided to continue on foot; and they arrived before we did.

This was going to be the last evening we spent together, so we met for yet another lobster dinner. More wonderful conversation, even thought the music was too loud, and the kids were having a great time. The following day our friends would continue with their trip, and we had to wake up for our Deep Sea Fishing Expedition.

Day six: Deep Sea Fishing Expedition. Upon arrival our guide informs us that fishing is great, they are catching White Marlin, about 5 each day, and that waves are about 4 feet high. He also tells us that if we wish to cancel or reschedule our trip, we should do it at that moment. Along with us were two firemen from Arizona. We all agreed that 4 feet isn't bad seas, and my husband has deep sea fishing experience, so onward we would go. One hour and fifteen minutes later (out of our 4 hour fishing trip), we were on our way back to shore. The tour guide must have meant something else, because the waves were more like 20 feet. The swells would practically swallow the ship whole, looked like meanacing walls just waiting to crash down on us. I felt so sorry for Pi, having now a realistic picture of what it must have been like for him all those months lost at sea. We all got sea-sick. We didn't fish a damn thing.

We were not really aware, but by day seven we were already starting our countdown to return home. At least my husband and I were. For the most part, we did our best to indulge the kids in whatever they wanted, and hoped that they were truly having fun, and wouldn't begin counting down the days themselves. We played ping-pong, we swam, rented a couple of speed-boats (and actually enjoyed it even though mine was dead in the water within 3 minutes, and after exchanging boats with the tour guide, we still ended waiting about 20 mintues when the same boat died on him), we continued to enjoy evening shows, stayed up late, spent the night outside in the balcony reading, listening to music, knitting, counting stars.

On Saturday, my husband and I decided not to eat anything but a couple of croissants, that way we would be sure to avoid any predicaments during travel. Instead of spending the morning by the pool, I decided I would head out to town to purchase some crafts, beer, and rum. I would have to go alone. I hated the idea of doing this, of facing what lay beyond the hotel premises, of facing the thoughts and emotions that would inevitably arise in me, but by then the whole thing had grown on me, and the reality of it had already sunk in. Besides, I had done enough window shopping, and I knew exaclty what I wanted and the right price to purchase it for. Even so, upon arriving at the airport, the agents seized a couple of my packages composed of dry leaves and bark for preparing rum, because it was illegal to export these items. How I wished that the agent who told me it was OK to purchase these and fly them back home raw and unprepared, would somehow happen by and bump into me and this agent giving me a lecture. How I would have loved to give him a piece of my mind.

Oh, there's more to tell, it's just that it almost painful to write it down. I'm sure some of it will seep out into my daily writings now and then, for the next little while. Perhaps with more distance, I'll be able to recall the more pleasureable moments.

In all honesty, I have mixed feelings regarding this entire trip. This trip was unforgettable, just not the way I thought it would be.

Now do you understand now why I was counting my blessings upon arriving home?

Edited: I won't be around to approve the messages, but I'll be reading them, so keep 'em coming! :)

Just in time for summer! I have books I want to read this Summer, and I just received another book to add to my list. I decided to bring Café Book back to life, and keep that as the place to review my summer reads, as well as many others. You can read more about what I'll be reading there.

Only 8 days left for until we leave for vacation, and I still haven't packed. I have much to do these upcoming days, and I particularly don't want to leave before spending a day with my friend Deb and the girls. June has just begun and somehow I feel the month is already gone. We spent a fantastic day together on the 18th, took the kids out for some ice cream, and stopped at the bookstore to grab a few good reads. Her reading choices were fantastic. I had already ordered several books via Amazon.com, so I only purchased one. Yes, only one... what a miracle. ;)

Kids are now home for the Summer, and boy is that a change of pace! My son graduated from 5th grade, and celebrated by going to a roller skating rink. He had so much fun! He enjoyed it so much we went again this past Saturday. Did I skate? No, I was paralysed by fear. Fear of falling and breaking my tailbone again. However, I am going to do it again. I'll be brave and face my fears, and have fun with my kids. We're making rollerskating a weekly event. We get there every Saturday morning at 8:30 AM and leave at 10 AM or Noon, depending on how tired or hungry we get.

My daugher passed first grade with flying colors, too, and she's excited to begin second grade already. She had quite a nice party in her classroom, yet broke down in tears after saying goodbye to everyone. It was so sad to see her cry like that, I even got teary-eyed. She won't be seeing many of them next year due to kids being rezoned to a new school. It was a tough year for my baby girl, falling in love (yes, you read that correctly) and having her first love move out of state mid-semester. But she made it, she's OK, and even though she thinks about this boy every single day, she's learning to be cheerful when she thinks about him. This boy and my girl... they were two of a kind.

What else is new? My son and I stopped at BJ's for a model car I promised him, asked to speak with the manager regarding to shrivel-and-dried-up Bonsai trees I'd seen at the end of an isle, told him I wanted to try and save them, but I wouldn't purchase them full price in the state they were in. He agreed to my price, and my bewildered son couldn't believe it! So out we walked with two barely alive Bonsai trees. My son thought for sure I'd wasted money he could have spent purchasing another car. He doesn't think that way anymore. Took me a week to sit down, water them, look at them, let them speak to me... couldn't hear a thing. Then I took household scissors (cringe) to both the trees (I know, but I was working with the tools at hand; I'll have shears for them soon). I have saved 2 bonsai from certain death. Look:

Well, that's about it for a two week recap. Unless you want to read about my laundry, dishwashing, sweeping, moping, dusting, helped a couple learn to listen to each other, some knitting, lots or reading, some more laundry...

Like my good friend advised, an hour at a time. Feelings and thoughts come flooding through every now and then, and that's OK. As I've already shared with some of you, I won't have my results until the end of June, so I don't see why I should live my days worried till then. Seeing how school will be out for next week, I've got lots of time with my kids to look forward to, as well as a family vacation June 9th. We'll be going to Punta Cana, DR. So, I'm concentrating my thoughts on all this good stuff, while still acknowledging my fears and worries -just not letting them get the best of me.

With that said, here are some of the things I'm planning to do this summer, besides the mentioned vacation, of course. I'm planning on reading 2 books per month (which was part of my resolutions for this year anyway), and while I AM reading, I'm not finishing ALL my reads. I was reading Moll Flanders, which I hoped to finish before the end of April, and I'm still not done. Began reading Pride and Prejudice and just can't bring myself to even look at the book from afar. Ugh. I might very well give up on it. I have 3 books I read with my kids, which I actually enjoy not rushing through.

There are also two classics up on my list which I can't wait to dive into, The Awakening by Kate Chopin, and The Woman in White by Wilke Collins. I'm still not sure which book(s) I'll be taking with me on our vacation. And I best not forget my knitting books. Yes, I have several already, and they are a real joy to read and look over such beautiful images.

I'm brushing up on The Da Vinci Code (Illustrated version) before I go watch the movie (taking a cue from my friend Man About Town). And oh, movies! I can't wait to see X-Men 3, Over the Hedge, Hoot, Poseidon, Superman Returns, and a couple other flicks. ;)

Now that I've shared a few of my plans, it's your turn. What are your plans for summer? What books will you be reading? Will you be taking any trips?

I went to the doctors office because I found a lump on my breast. He found two.

Could be nothing. Here's hoping.

Otherwise, I've been keeping myself busy offline, reading, knitting, ripping back, knitting some more, painting, walking, and planting trees.

Back in March, I discovered that I'm allergic to library books. Not just me, my son as well. (I swear I'm not making this up. Several off and online librarians and school media personell confirmed this.) There were several books I wanted to read, as well did my children. I don't know why I decided to go to the library to borrow these books, knowing how I am in regards to books. Obsessive. Anyhow, we hadn't been to the library in probably 7 years, and when we visited again it was just awful. We went into fits of sneezing and coughing, watery and itchy eyes, and incessant allergy salutes. I immediately remembered why I LOVE purchasing books.

For starters, there's the senses factor. I love the smell of a new book, as well as the crisp feel of each page and the sound they make when they're turned. There is, of course, the collector factor. Every book I've read, I own, simply enough. There's an exception, I'll admit this much, which are several BookCrossing books, but then I was always fairly selective of the books I took home and even purchased a copy of those after reading them; some of them I still have, in a TBR status, because they don't produce any allergic reaction and because I'm not done with them yet. :)

And so we come to what all my fuss is about, the book I've recently read, and will be reading again as soon as my son is done reading it. This book has restored the love I have for fiction. It has started many intelligent conversations, as well as many passionate and poignant discussions. It's even made me ponder my personal beliefs. Life of Pi is such a book.

I'd never heard or read about this author or this book, until it was chosen as book-of-the-month for an online group I joined in March. I even had a late start reading it, as it only arrived at my doorstep mid-month, and with other things going on, I only began reading it close to the end of the month. But once I began reading, I couldn't stop. Yet stop I did, on many ocassions. I stopped because I laughed, and I stopped because I cried. I stopped because I wanted the words I'd just read to really sink in, and because I wanted to ponder further. The entire time I was reading it, I didn't want it to end.

However, as with every book, the story had been told, and came to an end. I even enjoyed telling the story to a friend that actually cried out of fear, because she said I was re-telling it with such excitement that she couldn't help but see the images very vividly. She went on about how sad it was, and that the story as I recounted seemed to her was full of terror. And yes, the story has it's terrible, fearful moments, all brimming with detail.

Every page was satisfying. I can't wait to read it again.

I'd like to know if you've read it, and what your thought are about the story. And this makes me want to put my book blog back online, and invite to discussion and maybe even an open forum there. Hmm... entertaining the idea.

I'm working on another read this month, and I say working because it isn't going as smoothly as I expected. It happens with certain books, particularly Classics. However I'll continue working on it, since it's my goal to read at least 6 Classics this year, among other reads.

So, what are you reading? Do you have any good recommendations? If so, why?

We went grocery shopping yesterday. It was way overdue. It took hours. It was hell.

My back was in pain and kept me up all night. Painkillers did zilch. But I was at ease, because we are blessed with food for our tummies, and that is always something to be grateful for. So many go to sleep hungry... I just went to bed in pain. I'm the lucky one.

Today my lobster stayed home today since he had a doctor's appointment, and a CT done (annual check-up time!). He opens the refrigerator door, glances as me, eyes and hands in the fridge, then walks away.

Laughing.

At me.

Call me a freak. How endearing.

Promise you won't laugh?

Continue reading "Provoking my Inner Monk" »

Me? I'm exactly where I'd like to be.

I'm sitting out back, enjoying a nice, warm, relaxing cup of tea, enjoying the crisp weather, and taking in the sunset as night rushes in.

Your turn. Where are you, or where would you like to be?