Been off for a couple of weeks again, haven't I? Time flies when you're offline.

What have I been up to? Well, I was still working on the kids beds, finishing them, and then moving on to staining. It all went well but for one thing: my asthma kicked in with a vengance. I forgot all about that before starting the projects, and the fumes played a wicked number on me. The upstairs of our house was basically off limits during these past two weeks. I'd go upstairs and paint, then leave all the windows open, and head downstairs.

Living was done strickly downstairs. I moved the kids downstairs to sleep in the sofa bed in our family room, so you can imagine what my family room's been looking like. Toys, video games, movies, books, and snack wrappers strewn all over. Enough to send my inner Monk into fits and seisures. My computer is up in my studio, hence my absence here. I do have my laptop next to my bed, but by the time I walked into my room, it was to shower and go to sleep.

Yesterday was a full one-day makeover for my bedroom, painted beautifully in a nice and relaxing tone of landscape green, and with a nice 'lil table-top cascading water fountain, it's feeling very Zen. :)

Winter break officially began here in FL, so my kids are home, back in their rooms, doing some major cleaning up. I decided to stop by and drop you all a note, and see how many messages I've got. Wanna know? Eh, just 714 new messages! Only 38 of those are spam. There's one list I belong to, but those messages don't amount to many. Not bad for two or so weeks, eh? I'm not sure how I'm going to reply to all of those, but I sure will try. So, if you've commented, and I haven't replied yet, I'm sorry. At least now you know why.

I still have the guestroom to paint and decorate, as well as the bathrooms. However, I'm back to some sense of normal. Now it's all about getting back to my daily routines, and spending some time playing with my kids. I had already begun a website overhaul here, behind the scenes, and I'm hoping to get back to that shortly. I'm aiming to be done with a total site redesign before 2006.

A little gift for those of you who like wallpapers, you can grab the picture below. I shot this one while on the phone with my friend and sister Debbie. We were both awe-struck with the beauty of this sunset. Now I just want to paint it, but I'm sure whatever I come up with won't do it justice. Click on image to embiggen; right-click and save to your computer.

Sorry, no voyages here. I just couldn't help myself. The Trekkie in me took over. Plus, I wanted to listen to Patrick Stewart in my head. Anyhoo...

We've been enjoying beautiful weather in FL, and tonight I took some time to shoot more pictures. I've been shooting pictures of the night sky three nights in a row. So what's up there that's caught my attention? Well, if you've been around here long enough, you'll know here at home, the kids and I are stargazers. Two night ago was New Moon, and I was able to enjoy Venus light up the night sky. It was SO bright, it was casting shadows. I saw Venus cast a shadow of my hand, my camera and my tripod. Very cool! No, I'm not just making this shit up, go read here: Science@NASA, and DigitalSky.org, SpaceWeather.com (check archives, date 12.02.2005)

I shot bunches of pictures, and I have a few to share. :o)

I hope you've enjoyed the pictures as much as I enjoyed shooting them. Some of the best shots happen with perserverance, others quite by accident. I do have a favorite picture; here it is.

The DIY project we've dived into is... beds!

Weekend One:

We have been creatively engaged as a family for this one. Today we tackled Kiki's project, finishing touches to follow during the week. Next weekend will BlogBoy's turn, so I'll need to sit down with my son and iron out several details.

I'd thrown an idea out to my husband -a simple one really- I wanted to build a bed for Kiki, something that would tie in nicely with the plans I have for her room. Our princess wants a garden, and I garden I will give her. Of course, my mind starts racing with layout ideas, how I'll paint, getting some sketch ideas down... then there was the bed. She didn't really have one. Nice, plush yet gigantic mattress atop a boxspring, and this old headboard from what used to be her crib/bed (which used to be BlogBoy's when he was born). The beauty of changing-stages, white furniture, eh? Anyhow, I keep thinking, "if she wants a garden, then the bed should be close to the floor. I could wrap the bottom in green, make it part of the scene, long, flowing green grass... hey, we can do that! That would be my biggest painting yet... OMG, can I pull this off?"

Hubby played with the design for a couple of weeks-and it quickly evolved into something else. He gave it his extra touch, and I can appreciate how this new design grows with her, which is a plus. I'll have to rethink my initial plan though, but I'm hoping it won't be too hard. Kiki will still have her garden. :o)

Yesterday, we went to Lowes, shopped for everything we needed -lumber and tools- (stains and paints will be next weekend), and took all the goodies home. My hubby couldn't wait to get into it, so he fired up his new tool, made a few cuts here and there, shot a few nails in, and set up for what would follow.

This morning he was up and about, pretty early for a Sunday I should add, and quickly made progress. It was up to the rest of us to lift and hold and carry and place. Then we carried everything upstairs for assembly. I even handled the nail gun! So much fun!

Now, some pictures to share, which should pretty much complete the story.

Kiki hard at work, safety glasses and all, under Dad's supervision.

-detail, unfinished wood-

Mattress fits perfectly!

Illuminate! Very cool alternative to a night light. :o)

... and here is the princess, very pleased, and exhausted from all her hard work.

Ok. So I'm thisclose to calling it quits regarding NaNoWriMo. I'm SO behind on wordcount it's not even funny. The problem is I'm editing, I'm editing all the way thru. I just wish I wasn't, but I can't stop. Plus, I'm finding it hard to write fiction. I remember there used to be a time where I'd wake up thinking about what I would be writing. Now, not so much. I mean, I've got lots to say, I just don't think fiction is the way I want to go about it. So. *grumble*

Add to that, learning a bunch of crappy news from certain family members, the games, the lies, the manipulation... oh, wait!!! There's a novel right there! Honestly, let's just say the terror alert should be elevated.

That said, my tune for today: Fuel -Bad Day (be nice... right-click and save)

Ok. Enough whining. On the bright side, my creative output is on high, which is a natural high in and of itself, and that's a very good thing, right?

work in progress

That's one of the pieces I'm working when I'm not working my words on that novel-writing-thing-that-shall-not-be-named uh, thing.

... at least to me. :o)

First of all, I must thank Arethusa. She hosted a most wonderful Saturday night radio show that was both G rated and entertaining, which is not something that can be done easily, or as gracefully as she pulled it off. Areth, thanks you, from the bottom of my heart, because you made my little princess truly glow, with a smiling heart, and made the rest of us incredibly happy. We did arrive a bit late, because we were out having dinner, celebrating our kids straight A grades, and that so far they are in the Principle's Honor Roll. To come home to your show, well, what can I say? It was priceless. Thank you!

Pluto may have moons. [link]

Bones and House are back at Fox.

NaNoWriMo... yes, it's going to be a long, long month. Can anyone tell me why I do this? :o) What's that you say? You want to know my word count? ROTFL! Good luck to all of you who signed up, and happy writing.

Nov 1st. Not counting today, 60 days left this year. When is the cool weather going to stay?

I must get to reading my email, and sending you replies. Yeah. I'll go do that now. ;o)

Hurricane Wilma has come and gone, and here at home we're all safe. I'm counting my blessings. I hope all my other Orlando area bloggers and friends are doing well and hopefully haven't suffered any damage. Much of South Florida suffered damage. (CNN)

With the constant tornado watches and warnings, I ended up going to bed at noon today, took an hour nap, and was then back up and taking care of mine.

It was fun though, being up all night with my kids. To keep them from being worried of the storms effects, we played card games, watched some TV, and munched on brownies. Our late night-early morning movie was Finding Neverland, which is now among my favorite movies. My kids truly enjoyed it, particularly my son, who identified with the writing part. I hope he continues to be inspired. Just before they drifted off to sleep, we had some yummy hot cocoa. If you ask my kids, last night was one of the best. So, mission accomplished. ;o)

I did finish one painting yesterday, and I'm going to put the finishing touches on another one. Sad thing is I'm running out of pastels, so I'll have to do some shopping to replace the colors I'm short of soon. I'll need to shoot some pictures before I have these framed, so I hope to have something to show you this week.

All for now, I need to finish up a bio, and several pieces I'm writing. Since I'm handwriting these, I'll be doing this outside. The weather is beautiful now, and it's cold! Well, more like very cool and breezy! Feels like we went from Summer to Fall in 20 minutes. You couldn't tell there was a hurricane making its way through less than five hours ago.

Plus, I need to get the kids ready for tomorrow. Somehow, they are in holiday-mode. Wouldn't that be nice?

My son, BlogBoy, dove in and is now participating in Illustration Friday. I love that weekly meme, even tho I haven't participated online. I've done but a few sketches out of several words that triggered images, but I've kept them all in my journal. My son, however, got his hands all virtually-messy fiddling with Photoshop. I love to see him figure his way around the progam. I think it's great! So now, as soon as he's done with homework, he turns on the computer.

What is even better is that I get to see how his mind works, from a different perspective. We went over several previous words, and his imagination and imagery is so much fun, wonderful and brimming with humor! He gets an image in his mind so quickly and runs with it. So he tells me from now on he'll try to participate every week. Yes, I'm smiling.

Now here's a(nother) plug. My friend Debbie wanted to set up a little space of her own on the web, and now she's got it. I've finished set-up and design, and now she's ready to roll. She's also doing some exploring of her own, so why don't you veteran bloggers pay her a visit at Ethereal Muse.

While I don't entirely agree on the selections included in the following list, I do understand why John Scalzi thought they should make the list (in his book The Rough Guide to Sci Fi Movies). The book . Some I'd take off, and include serveral others which IMHO should have made the list.

Still, I thought I was way behind with my sci-fi flick viewing, but after reading thru the list, I haven't done to bad. ;o)

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!
Akira
Alien
Aliens
Alphaville
Back to the Future
Blade Runner
Brazil
Bride of Frankenstein
Brother From Another Planet
A Clockwork Orange
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Contact
The Damned
Destination Moon
The Day The Earth Stood Still
Delicatessen
Escape From New York
ET: The Extraterrestrial
Flash Gordon: Space Soldiers (serial)
The Fly (1985 version)
Forbidden Planet
Ghost in the Shell
Gojira/Godzilla
The Incredibles
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 version)
Jurassic Park
Mad Max 2/The Road Warrior
The Matrix
Metropolis
On the Beach
Planet of the Apes (1968 version)
Robocop
Sleeper
Solaris (1972 version)
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
The Stepford Wives
Superman
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
The Thing From Another World
Things to Come
Tron
12 Monkeys
28 Days Later
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (I think.)
2001: A Space Odyssey
La Voyage Dans la Lune
War of the Worlds (1953 version)

via Arethusa and Darth.

Sometimes, as parents, we don't get a chance to easily see the impression the days events make on our children. Maybe it just takes longer for them to deal through it. Perhaps they toss around the images and thoughts in their head, express them in conversations with you, or in the tears you manage to catch yourself sharing with them when you see glimpses of tragedy on TV.

I've always been a strong supporter in journal writing, and the healing that comes forth from such practice. There are times I don't understand why a person would feel reluctant to take pen to page, finding solace within the lines and scratches that spew from the deep well within our soul.

In the past, I've pressed my son in regards to the importance and benefits of writing, in the hopes that he will find it a safe haven, in the same way I do.

The boy arrives at the page, in his own time. This is something I must continue to learn.

Years ago, I gifted my son a journal, a private place he could arrive at and sort out his thoughts. He shares his writings with me when he feels moved to do so. Today was one of those days.

And today, he's sharing a page from his journal with you.

** Edited: It would be great if you shared your thoughts and comments on his poem with him. It would mean a lot to me, and a world to him.

My daughter explains to me the whole "woulda, coulda, shoulda" thing.

Metroblogging Lahore as seen on CNN's The Situation Room (transcript here) regarding the earthquake disaster, and how you can help. Also, Bilal posted a verse of trapped echoes.

Me, I'm doing a bit better, started eating again, and enjoyed good renewing sleep that was much needed. Can't wait to be strong enough to ride my bike again.

Thanks to those of you who have emailed me and left good vibes for me to get better. Every little bit helps. :o)

Ha! Tagged. And I only found out because I was commenting on someone's site, who had also been tagged; via Man About Town. Niiice!

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

That's it.

I swear, that IS the fifth sentence of my 23 post, which in itself, was a very small one. Two years ago, and at around the same time. I was pondering web site changes, and my upcoming birthday. My month of renewal in many ways. Which came around again, just about a week ago. Pretty neat.

Like my friend Lori said... cycles. :o)

Now... who do I tag? Let's see if I can turn the excitement up a notch, or at least make it interesting. One To The Nth Power, Crankydragon's Scratches, Darthworld, Stalkers Not Allowed, Humanyms.

Back to my Stargate SG-1 Monday, an a nice, warm, soothing cup of tea.

I've been clearing my blogroll these past couple of days, visiting everyone in my blogroll. Dead links or blogs that haven't been updated in a few months I deleted, as well as some that I'd previously added which had caught my initial attention, but then, well, kinda lost it.

However, I now realize that some of what I thought were dead links was actually blogger acting up. So, if I had you in my blogroll, and now you notice you're not there, drop me a line or comment, and I'll take care of it quick.

How am I? Meh. Could be better. Actually, I'm in a lot of pain. My whole body aches, as my stomach. I haven't been able to eat anything since yesterday. And today I've suffered severe ear pain. Going to have that checked. *sigh*

Kids are doing fine, my daughter is going over her next song, and my son is contemplating a few new games, now that he is done with Halo 2.

Even though I feel like crap, I'm contemplating some web design and continued work on my painting. The simple thought of it makes me smile. :o)

My princess has gone and done what I have yet to even try. She's posted her first audioblog.

I'm too excited! I had the pleasure of listening to her practice, get in the zone, and them perform for you.

You, go listen at The Secret Garden.

It's about what matters. SC&A

Go, read.

Take it in.

Read again.

Tomorrow.

So tell me, is 34 scary?

Between loads of laundry, vacumming, and cleaning bathrooms (Oh what fun!), I'm undoubtedly busy, busy, busy. Yes, I've got my work cut out for me. But I've been offline long enough, and I can feel the pull. However, my online time today will be striclty dedicated to reading everyone in my blogroll.

In doing so, I will inevitably stumble upon some of you having posted a quiz, which in turn will compulsively send me off to try it myself.

You're a little gold key, and you unlock other people's hearts.
Your kindness and willingnessto be there for those you care about
lets people open up to you knowing they will be accepted.
People will rely on you, but be careful not to give more than you have.

What sort of key are you and what do you unlock?

brought to you by Quizilla

via EtherealGirl

...and because every little bit helps.

One Tiny Voice

Thanks, Elle!

What a blessing!! They've landed that airplane safely.

The Orange County Public Schools has a program in which fifth graders run a fully operational retail store. It's called Biz Kid$.

I was part of the interviewing procedure, giving the students a real life experience of what applying for and being interviewing for employment is like. I was amazed! Some of these children are remarkably talented. There was only a handful of students I didn't interview, because those were applying for either the management and security positions, and among those applying was my son BlogBoy.

Today, he walked in, proud to let me know that he was assigned the position he applied for: Junior Manager.

He starts tomorrow, and although it's only a two-day venture, I know they will learn a lot about the working world. I can't wait to see him in action, and to hear his thoughts about the experience!

trying to kill them dead.

I've managed to contact a couple of unknowing victims, as spam had been left in their blog-name.

I hate when they come back like that, after months of spam-free days.

Damn you, spammers.

Damn you all to Hell.

Scenario: After seeing the images of the damage and the suffering the people of the Gulf Coast were going through (days 2 and 3), after spending a good deal of time talking with my children about what they were seeing in the news, I decided to seek some comfort in a book, one of several I purchased a few days earlier, with a B&N gift card a dear friend gifted me. Honestly, I wanted to escape the pain I was seeing on TV, pain that was clearly seeping into me. Yes, we helped, donated money and clothes and food, but somehow -at least in my head- it didn't seem enough. It still doesn't.

The book begins with several short poems, and each of them is numbered. I didn't get too far reading, as you'll notice below.

V

Glee! the great storm is over!
Four have recovered the land;
Fourty gone down together
Into the boiling sand.

Ring, for the scant salvation!
Toll, for the bonnie souls, --
Neighbor and friend and bridegroom
Spining upon the shoals!

How they will tell the shipwreck
When winter shakes the door,
Till the children ask, "But the forty?
Did they come back no more?"

Then a silence suffuses the story,
And a softness the teller's eye;
And the children no further question,
And only the waves reply.

VI

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain'
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

* from The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson

As we finish getting ready for school today, we watch the morning news for updates from Hurricane Katrina. Yes, as a family, we like to pay attention to such important events, and how they may affect us.

Newsperson on TV: "[...] two people are dead in Ft. Lauderdale because of trees falling on them due to winds from Hurricane Katrina..."

Kiki: "Awww... trees falling down, Mom."

Because I honestly believe that what Jay really needs is one of these.

And no, I honestly don't believe it's ever too early during the day for an Appletini.

There, 'nuff said.

Reason for weeping? This night's episode -series finale- of Six Feet Under.

I can't believe how intense and moving and amazing this episode was, or the entire series for that matter.

Now, off to get something to ease this headache, and emotionally prepare myself for the encore tomorrow night.

Finally, you get to see my mug in a pic. The only two pictures of me from our trip. I insist the reason I'm actually in the picture has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I had already indulged in 3 Cocotinis (yeah, coconut martini). I swear, it was the most orgasmic drink I've ever had. No, I'm sorry, but I don't have a picture of that particular drink. ;o)

Joel & Loyda

Ender & Eva

Mr. & Mrs. Zee

and my favorite...

My Lobster and me

Now that school has begun, I've been very busy, and haven't been able to get online. Bike riding early in the morning, then getting the kids ready for school. Also, I'm serving as a volunteer at school -even after school hours. By the time I get home its time for the kids, dinner and housework. Slowly getting my time organized, and today I've been able to squeeze in some online time, and later tonight I've set out some time for painting. *grin*

Here are a some beautiful views of a few places we visited while in Puerto Rico. Different days, different places, except for the last two. Click on them to make them larger; enjoy!

El Morro

Curve

Infinite Blues

Dorado Beach

Guajataca

Guajataca (close-up)

Sadly, you won't find Yours Truly in any of these pictures. Actually, you'll be lucky to find but one picture in which I'm featured, but that won't be today. :o)

BlogBoy practices windsurfing with Dad

The Lobster takes to sea (aka Mr. Z)

Yes... I know, about time, eh?

I'll be loading quite a few pictures. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed taking them and thinking of sharing them with you. Click on the images to make bigger and more enjoyable. :o) Feel free to ask any questions. I'll do my best to reply quickly via comments.

On Our Way

Open Sea

At the beach...

Dorado Beach, near hotels

Time to play...

... run ...

... and relax.

BlogBoy at the beach

Kiki at the beach

Sorry for the lack of updates. We arrived well last Friday, but I've been very ill, bedridden and unable to move out of my bed until today. I'm finally beginning to see the signs of getting better, and mustered up the strength to plug my laptop in.

Now that I'm home and with real internet access (instead of the wonderful 14 kbps dial up connection I was suffering with in PR -unless I was really lucky, and connected at a whole 28 kbps!- which is when I was able to post, LOL), I'll be posting the pictures I've so promised all of you.

Thanks bunches again to all of you for your emails and comments and get better soon thoughts. You guys rule!

I'll be catching up with emails and blogs tomorrow and thru the weekend, so you'll be seeing me around soon.

Oh how I missed home, and I missed you all, too.

feeling much better, thank you very much. and thank you for your thoughts. meant bunches, made me feel at home. did some local venting. also focused on all the positives rather than just that negative. mind you, it's still a big negative, and i'm still pissed off, but i don't feel so miserable. few things to do while i'm still here.

now kids have come down with a cold, and so am i. yeah, i'm all stuffed up. heh.

so, how's it going on your side?

Finally here at my parents house. So many things have changed, and so many others remain the same. Hmm... It's good to be here, but after 17 days, I already miss my own space, my own routines, my own home.

Time spent with my in-laws was good. Wonderful conversation and nights out, movies, restaurants, beach and pool. They made me feel welcome and comfortable. Not to mention the kids had a blast, and that makes me a happy mom. I'm planning to see them again before the return home.

But...

Funny thing how my "vacations" usually go for me -not well. The one thing I was looking forward to, something for me, which planned for, hoped for, wanted, needed- I didn't get, and now I won't. My husband left for Orlando earlier today, and should actually be arriving as I'm typing this.

I'm incredibly upset, and I need to vent. I need some wide open spaces where I can scream and cry and let it all out. There is no such space here -not anywhere close. Feels like this little Island is going to swallow me whole. I just want to curl up and cry myself to sleep.

*sob!*

I may soon develop a nervous tick. Not very many chances to get online, but I at least got this one to let you all know we are all doing well. Soaking up some sun, which as I mentioned before, is H-O-T. It's a jungle out there, and I'm in it. Hot damn!

Blogboy did some audioblog testing, so stop by and let us know how it sounds.

Pictures, close to 700 -no lie- and I hope to get a chance later today to post a few online.

We've enjoyed some awesome restaurants here, but my best drink to date was a 'cocotini' (coconut martini). Yes... pure bliss.

More to share soon!

Just wanted to let you all know we've all arrived safely in PR. Geez, it is hot beyond belief here. That's tropical for you. :o)

I couldn't help myself, so I shot more cloud pictures from the plane. I'll share them with you as soon as I can upload them. Some cloud formations were truly amazing.

Kids are having the time of their life. :o)

To those of you who have commented and emailed me, but I haven't been able to reply to, thank you, thank you so much for stopping by, for your emails, for caring, for sharing. :o)

Just wanted to let you all know we're ok. Bit of a stomach bug going around here, suprisingly enough of a bother to keep me away from the computer for the past few days.

Well, that and getting everything ready for our trip. Packing is a pain, particularly when you want to pack all kinds of things into your suitcase, things that don't quite fit, like say... your computer. As much as I love my laptop, my true baby is my PC. Did clean out a lot of junk I had on my laptop, to make sure I had gigs of space for all the pictures I hope to shoot.

There's also my easel, which I'll have to manage without. I've been working on a couple of paintings I wanted to finish before we leave. I hope to make some time to properly shoot them.

My previous trip to Puerto Rico was in January, to see my Grandma, who passed away shortly after I saw her. I went alone. This time we go as a family, mostly as a vacation for the kids. Needless to say that my emotions a running strong and high right now.

One thing I didn't share with you from that trip was pictures, aside that of my Grandma's flower-showered grave. I didn't really take many pictures. But there was one I shot that I'll share with you now. I found it this weekend while cleaning my laptop of unused and old files. You know how they tell you to shut off all cell phones and computers and cameras, right? Well I didn't. In all honesty, I didn't hear a word they we saying. In any case, I was awe-struck with the view, and felt compelled to pull out my camera and shoot. I took only one shot. I call it A Walk Above Clouds. Might not be a very creative title, but it is what I felt at the time I shot it -still feels that way.

There's a rule in my house my kids always follow: do not to touch my stuff. Pretty simple. The exception to this rule is of course, when I let them touch, borrow, or otherwise use my things -with my permission. (ie. Kiki uses my paints, BlogBoy uses my books...)

For years I've had Magnetic Poetry kits splattered all over my fridge. My kids are allowed to use these, of course, as long as they tell me first -so that I may tell them which are poems they are to leave untouched, all other words are game (not currently part of a work-in-progress). However, my son must have been nervous or preoccupied, because he forgot, and completely erased two poems of mine which I had not had the opportunity to write down yet. Yes, I was a little upset, because I'd been working on those for a while. So, what did I do? I told my son to fix my poems.

And he did. Here's what my son mused:

My son's heart and mind mused of beautiful things. Makes his mommy proud.

Pics of late. New one at my photoblog, Beyond Focus, several below. :o)

[ click on images to embiggen ;o) ]

Yes, that's a victory cheer above, while playing horseshoes. Ah, the days of summer. :o)

"Hi! You've reached Zee. Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now. I'm completelty absorbed watching Danica Patrick kick some ass at the Indy 500. However, your call is very important to me, so please leave a message after the tone. I promise to call you back as soon as I am able."

*Edited: She didn't win, but... She.Is.Amazing.

Wake up call this morning, doorbell rings. FedEx making a delivery -to the wrong house. *grumble*

As I close the door I notice a small envelope on the corner by the door. I open it, it's the Norah Jones Feels Like Home CD. No note on the envelope, so I don't know who it's from. So, to whoever it was, a great big "Thank You! How did you know?" Talk about turning your day around, eh? :o)

Off to make my morning coffee, and give my little princess some breakfast. Kiki says she has a plan. She's getting a band together. She wants to play electric guitar and drums. She may be watching my Eagles: Hell Freezes Over CD a little too much. ;o) I tell her she should blog about her new band, and she says she will, but it's going to be a surprise for all of you. She said she'd draw you a picture of what her electric guitar will look like, and then she'll have me put that up with no writing. (That would be my child figuring out a way to not write today... heh.) So it's up, go by The Secret Garden and check out her Surprise Entry.

Hubby is in North Carolina somewhere, hiking with friends/co-workers. Left Thursday morning, and will be returning Monday evening. Hope he's doing well, as we don't have a way to get in touch. Still, I know how much he was looking forward to a little adventure, and what better way to go hang with the boys.

Doing some spring cleaning these past several days, as well as some gardening. My spirit, it seems needs to find some order and enjoy some time outdoors.

My painting. I'm trying to be nice to myself, as I know the ebb and flow is necessary in all things, particularly when it pertains to creativity. It's great to receive email from other artists stuggling through the same ups and downs, to know that we can nurture and give each other that little nudge or extra push, even if it comes in the way of an email, a letter, and even a comment. The weather is improving and you are headed outside with the kids and looking forward to setting up for painting en plein air, you are recovering from recent illness and introducing me to ATC's, or you are online looking for inspiration, or dreaming of what your future can be... Ladies, you know who you are, consider this a group hug.

Upon waking, I felt sad, miserable, tired. I didn't want to bother going about the day ahead. Crawling back in bed seemed like a great idea. I felt... 'bleh'. Last thing I wanted to do was go out for my morning bike ride, but that's exactly what I did.

After getting the kids ready and walking them to school, I returned home, and looked at myself in the mirror. Some inner dialog commenced, I turned around, and chose some nice clothes to wear. I wanted something light and comfortable, yet nice. I got myself into a pair of Capri pants, and a fresh white shirt. Braided my hair, washed my face again, and applied sunblock lotion. I applied some lip-gloss, and glanced at myself again. Little more inner dialog as I put on my helmet and adjusted the straps. Darted for the door -no whining, no place for doubts. I felt like I just wanted to cry, for no reason but perhaps a sense of sadness, but didn't... and off I went.

Little did I know that out of the 16 days since I received my bike and done my daily riding, today would turn out to be the best yet.

I have serious fears of riding my bike, which is both a bit funnny and ironic, seeing as how I don't think twice about taking my hubby's motorcycle out for a spin. You see fourteen years ago, I suffered a bike accident that not only bruised my ego, it also broke my nose. Because of this, I haven't taken my camera with me on a ride yet, for fear that if I fall, I won't ruin my little baby. ;o) But today I realized I'm getting over the fear quicker than I thought I would. Soon enough, you’ll see pictures!

So far, motorists have been kind to not follow too closely when I hit the road, and I'm doing better at keeping my straight line in such little space (there are a several main roads around here that don't have a bike route, and it adds a bit of nervousness on my part to share the road with a motored vehicle.)

Pushing myself beyond my limits was the order of the day, and it felt great! I chose a route with a pretty high hill, and it hurt... oh, it hurt so good; used higher gears the entire time, and kept pedaling throughout the entire ride -non stop- until I reached my destination. Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to do it, but it was an awesome goal for me, and I rode it out -I did it! Also went the farthest and fastest today, so I’m extra pleased.

I arrived at Starbucks panting like a thirsty puppy. “Venti iced water, please!” That’s right, no water bottle. Why? Cause I’m a loser… and I just can’t be bothered to go shopping for a water bottle holder. BikeTown gifted us water bottles, coffee mugs, shirts… yeah, we got spoiled. But since I had not yet done more than two miles a day, basically covering a stretch in my neighborhood, with a handful of rides between 3 and 5 miles. Those longer rides have mostly been in the afternoon, so it’s been quite cool, and the thirst factor hadn’t really kicked in. I can be real dense at times. However, today was a different story. Damn, it hot out there! Still, I was grateful it was not as hot as yesterday. That S-SW wind can be a killer, blowing such hot air this way. Wasn’t as hot today, and the swiftness in my ride provided for some pleasingly cool breezes. Still, the ride back was ahead of me, and the day was only getting hotter. So, I pedaled my way into the bike shop, and pedaled out with new gear. *grin* Water bottle holder and a small zippered bag which expands… to fit my camera! Now I don’t have to go around carrying my backpack on my rides.

Highlights of today’s ride: pushing myself out of my comfort zone; the sound of the wind as I pedal faster and faster; the chirping of the birds and the warmth of the sun; having a butterfly flutter the way ahead of me for almost a whole block, which seemed, for a moment, eternal. I remembered my daughter chasing her two butterflies. Three crossed my path today… truly a sign of transformation and change ahead.

I’m going to embrace it.

It was a wonderful day outside, a day fit for swimming in the pool. After splish-splashing around for 2 hours, my kids take their respective showers and we all head outside... yes, next to Kiki's willow. I'll have to shoot a picture of my Willow, so you can appreciate how out of control she is... yes, ever-reaching-for-the-sky limbs everywhere. She needs a bigger pot, to further spread her roots.

Anyhew...

Bryan: looks at me and smiles. He's just basking, soaking up the sun. One cool dude.
Kiki: decides she wants to follow two litte butterflies around. Yes, it's a garden girl's prerogative. ;o)
Me: ever thoughtful... I count my blessings.
...
Kiki: "Mom, which butterfly should I follow, they're going to different homes now."
Me: "Follow this one, I think she still wants to play." (What? You didn't know all butterflies are girls, it is so according to Kiki. Consider yourself enlightened in the world of one little girl.)
Kiki: Carefully follows the closest butterfly, staying close to home. "Mom, I'm sneaking right behind her!
Me: "I see... you are doing a good job!"
Kiki: "Yup! Wow, I'm a good sneaker, right mom?"

So, today I'm fiddling around with Audioscrobbler. Another 3AM kinda night for me. I blame Darth for it. ;o) Thank goodness, 'cause boy, am I out of it. Plus, there's Technorati tags for Audioscrobbler to work with it. Nice. On a mission to increase the embarrasing amount of song files existing in my computer.

Other than that, I'm cleaning some very, very old computer files, and trying to set my webcam up again. ;o/

Very important: email a few very close friends today.

Then onto the canvas, hopefully get a good couple of hours in. Wish me luck.

The wonderfully brilliant Arethusa tagged me, so now I'm it. The meme follows:

01. Total volume of music files on my computer?

• 147 files (on this computer); my laptop has another couple hundred

02. The last CD I bought was?

• Rise, by Kim Richey

03. Song playing right now:

• Electric Green -Kim Richey and Pete Droge .

04. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

• A Case Of You -Joni Mitchell .
• Gira Con Me Questa Notte -Josh Groban .
• Fallen - Sarah McLachlan .
• The Mystic's Dream -Loreena McKennitt .
• Walk On -U2 .

05. Which 5 people are you passing this baton to, and why?

• Quirky: Because I love, love, LOVE her playlist! *completed!*
• Jen: She's an inspiration, and I KNOW that's not just my opinion... ;o) *completed!*
• Cailani: Well, her days begin around the time mine ends, so she'll probably do this while I'm sleeping, plus she's younger than I am and I'd like to know what's going on in her head. ;o) *completed!*
• Muzik: Because I don't recall him ever doing a meme, and since he is the MuzikDude...
• Miss Franchini! because she enjoyed my answers to the meme, and because she's the birthday girl... ;o) *completed!*

*Daria chose to pass on this meme because she's done it already, and honestly, who wants to do the same meme over and over and over. So I gave someone else a try. Thanks Daria!

:::

** Very important: that period at the end of each song above is a link to the song itself. I was moved to share. Be kind, right click and save, will ya?

My thoughts on this meme:

Only five songs? How unfair...

Music is very much alike visual art -every song holds quite a unique meaning to whoever is enjoying it; it transforms, and transcends.

The songs I listed above are the ones I listen to daily and have special meaning to me.

My days are not complete if I haven't indulged in a little Enya, Eagles, Clannad, and Deep Relaxation (this last one by Dr. Jeffrey Thompson, which is wonderful for painting and meditating...)

I'm always have music in the background, unless I'm sitting outside, in that case, I'm doing the singing. ;o)

:::

I'll be updating as those I tagged complete the meme.

... goes surfing around the blogosphere leaving compliments, casting smiles on your face, and brightening your day.

What a wonderful concept! Last night, in just 3 weeks, the Complimenting Commenter reached 1,000 compliments. Truly an inspiration. :o)

Go, pay The Complimenting Commenter a visit, and leave your own complimenting comment!

Tonight's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation two hour season finale:

What can I say?

Nick Stokes -not dead- and I'm incredibly grateful.
I'm terrified of ants -phobic; I would have shot myself.
I've never shaken or cried so much during a TV show.
I've already drugged myself because my head is about to explode.
Taking a shower, and headed for bed.
I hope to wake up without a migraine.

Quentin Tarantino, I hate you because you are so good at what you do.

[for behind the scenes click here]

Me: "Hey, what's that on your dress?" (as I point onto a trickle of stains on it)

Kiki: "Oh, mom, that's ' the dirtiness'."

You scored as Cultural Creative.

Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm.
You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion
but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves.
You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious.
Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Continue reading "What is Your World View?" »

both the good and the not so good. ;o)

What's yours?

via EtherealGirl.

He're a new favorite quote, which I'll be adding to my random quote script there on the left:

Look how pretty! Thanks for sharing the link, Monique. It arrived, and is just as beautiful as the picture. I thought it was too good to be true, but succumbed when I saw this piece. It was one of those "I've just got to have that" moments, which I usually never have unless it's books or art supplies. Go check it out for yourself: SilverJewelryClub.com

Onto other important things... how the hell did I miss this??

These past few days have been good to me, especially for my mind, heart and spirit. I was delighted to attend a most wonderful musical play Thursday evening, archy & mehitabel, with my friend Man About Town (you can read his review when you follow the link). Then the highlight of my weekend- my Dad's visit- which was oh-so-wonderful, as we had much to talk about and catch up on, and I enjoyed really meaningful and deep conversations with him, particularly since we had not spoken since I went to him and Grandma (his mom) passed away (thanks to all of you who emailed me and commented about his time with me). It was certainly a time of healing for each of us, and both of us together. To top it all off, much action in front of my canvas today! I'm inspired! :o)

Today I have been incredibly happy, much so that it stuck me, and for a small while made me cry, as I realized that it's been many, many months since I've actually awoken in the morning, gone thru my day, and have actually thought to myself "I feel happy".

I've had very little time to spend online today, mostly answering a few messages. There is so much blog reading for me to catch up on, I promise, I'll be visiting you all soon. For those of you who have emailed me that I didn't get to reply to today, I'll be replying tomorrow. Right now, I must head for bed. I'm exhausted and in need of rest. Hopefully I can count tonight as good a sleep as last night. Haven't had one of those in a very long time.

Hugs to all.

I'm tickled!

Arethusa came up with most wonderful questions, and you can see both Q's & A's in the interview. Check it out!

:::

In other news, I'll be a bit scarce this weekend, as my dad dropped by today for a visit and will stay the weekend. He flew in from Puerto Rico on business, and is off until Sunday, when he resumes his business travels which nudge him further North.

Can I just share how incredibly happy I'm feeling right now, to have my daddy home with me?

I know you'll read this, because you'll be using my computer while here, and my home page is, well, my page, so here's my shout out to you: I love you, Dad.

Last Wednesday I received notice that I had been selected to receive one of 50 Giant Bicycles to be given away here in Orlando as part of Bicycling's BikeTown USA 2005 program. I was so excited, and couldn't believe it, so I didn't really tell anyone about it. Blame the skeptic in me, never having really won anything in my life. I did, of course, do my research, and exchanged emails with several winners from past years in other cities across the U.S. I was beside myself with joy! Still, the only thing I shared about this you can find at Metroblogging Orlando.

So today was the day we would attend the ceremony that took place at 5:00PM in Baldwin Park. Sick as I still feel, nothing was going to stop me from being there today. ;o) So out we went, kids and I, played in the park and soaked up some sun. When the time came for the event to begin, I was surprised that I didn't see any news teams there. Maybe I should've given them the heads up? After all, there's a WFTV crew member who lives in my neighborhood. Not that I wanted to jump up and down in front of the TV camera or anything like that; I did get more than my share of pictures by one of the photographers there, I'm surprised all that glass didn't break. He was kind enough to amuse me asking if my camera was a FujiFilm FinePix, and that "those are pretty good". Yeah, sure, he can say that while he gets to carry those two wonderful Nikon cameras with all that pretty glass, shoot pictures, AND get paid for it. ;o) I'm hoping to get at least one of those pictues in my mailbox. I did shoot some pictures of the event, which you can see in the extended section of this entry. And of course, the one photo of yours truly along with my two treasures that were as jazzed as I was that I won a bike!

In all, it was truly wonderful to be there with so many different people sharing the plans and goals each of us has with our new bikes, and being part of such a great program as is BikeTown USA. Some of them will use them for commuting to work, others for mobility and similar daily activities, some of us to incorporate it with a more healthy lifestyle and lose weight. I even gave my new bike a spin in the park, which I will definitely be visiting again.

Ok, 'nough chit chat. Tomorrow, I ride! And now pictures, for your viewing pleasure!

At BikeTown ceremony. Kiki, BlogBoy and me.

Katie and Kiki with my new bike.

Continue reading "BikeTown USA 2005" »

Darth World. He's on the air, following Arethusa. Man, are they treating me royal or what?!

More Ramones, (thank you Darth!), and some Shatner funnies. Some David Soul playing now. (Wheee... how romantic!)

I need to wean myself off this bottle of wine, because it's getting increasingly hard to type. Hm.

Honestly, I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturday night. I hope you all tune in, too.

A shout out here to Arethusa, who's on the air with her radio show!! You rock, lady!

Among what she's playing tonight that I LOVE, the Ramones. So, if you happen to be home on this Saturday night, head over to her pad on the web, and enjoy Radio Arethusa. :o)

Oooohhhh! Evil Woman, by Black Sabbath!!! Woohoo! She's spoiling me!

Rock on!

Than again, maybe not.

You see, my sweet little princess is having problems in school, same ones all year: "does not listen attentively, and works extremely slowly." Put quite simply, she's gets bored in half a second. Whenever she doesn't finish work in school, when circle time or recess comes around, my daughter sits while her peers play and read. Does she care that she's in this chair, not playing or reading or interacting with the rest of the kids? NO. She's perfectly fine in her own little world. It is of no consequence to her, whatsoever. This will of course be a serious concern come first grade.

As parents, we've taken measures and made arrangements, taken away priviledges, and sit down daily to do homework with her. So she gets double homework on a daily basis. Not an easy task. Her blogging? It's grand, because it's another tool in my arsenal with which she can practice her writing. It has taken her 40 minutes to write a sentence on her own -that's 40 minutes of me sitting next to her, patiently. (On a sidenote, yes, feel free to find a therapist who can make housecalls... to see me!)

My daughter's homework for today: Write her name in proper manner, first capital, then lowercase letters, 12 times. Piece of cake, right? Riiight! I did not sit with her today. I thought she would be able to do this, as she had done so yesterday. After half an hour, I come to the page, and that is what I find.

Me: "Kristen!? What's this??"

Kiki: [Pointing with her finger, from the bottom, right to left; then up one line, left to right; up to top line, right to left] "Oh Mom, you see, this is one bottle of water, and one gallon of water, and little lollipop, and macaroni and cheeze, and a balloon, and a heart, and whipped cream, and cherries, and a dragonfly, and a ladybug, and a butterfly, and a flower with the nectar in the middle, and a flower people."

:::
When she's done, she looks my way, and flashes me the brightest smile I've seen all week.

*sigh*

Anyway, thought I'd share the scene here, since I can't seem to work on the blog designs today, and my canvas isn't really talking to me. Hmm.

Cinco de Mayo!

5 Things On My Desk Right Now:
Candles
A vase with dried flowers from my Grandma's grave
Thing 1 and Thing 2
A wand I'm working from a branch from my daughter's willow tree
A wooden flute

5 Things I'd Like to Do Tonight:
Enjoy a nice walk
Go to the bookstore
Go out for dinner
Hang out at Starbucks with friends
Get some sleep

5 Things I'll Probably Actually Be Doing:
Watch CSI
Reading blogs
Sketching or painting
Read a book with my kids before tucking them in
Curl up with a cup of tea and a book

5 Things I'm Currently Wearing:
Glasses
T-shirt
Sweatpants
Earings
Necklace

5 Things I'd Like to See Happen in the Near Future:
Paint a garden in my daughter's room
See my landscape plan come together
Finish the blog designs I'm working on
Have my paintings show in a gallery in my town
Finally get together with the MetroBlogging Orlando gang

via QuirkyChick

Slept very little during the weekend, still if I’m going to be honest. Funny how being sick makes you feel so incredibly exhausted. My little princess woke us up with her cries very early on Saturday morning. She’d had a nightmare. I’d slept a couple of hours, so I decided to watch a movie, since I was unable to fall back asleep. I watched Mr. Holland’s Opus. Now please tell me, how on earth did I ever miss a movie as wonderful as this one? This was the time I was catching up on all the movies I’d never seen growing up! Maybe I wouldn’t have appreciated it as much back in 1995 as I did last Saturday. A very moving and inspiring movie. Plus, it touches close, very close to my heart. I’m hoping my kids can watch it with me next weekend. I’d love to hear what they think about it. :o)

I’m carrying on with my Spring Cleaning as best I can, one room at a time. Done with all the bathrooms in the house, and will soon plan how to decorate those. Yeah, still haven’t gotten around to that. I want to at least put some paint up, and a little organizer cabinet that stands on the floor.

Funny how there’s paint and curtains and décor around the house except the bathrooms and the place I spend the most time in, my studio. All I have is my curtains there, which I love. Well, my studio I don’t really want to decorate, I’d just like to add some paint (make cleanup easy, since I do have a little artist in the house. ;o) My art can then both decorate and inspire me some more, so some shelves will have to go up. I’m not sure I’ll be changing this room around, because my table and easel are already perfectly located to make the best use of northern light. But perhaps some lighting in my reading corner?
What I do need to start considering is storage, for my paper. I need to lay the papers flat both before and after I’ve worked on them, and honestly, the floor is a hazard for my art, especially pastel. I have a really nice piece in mind, but it’s fairly expensive. It would provide for additional workspace, though. So, it’s high up there in my wish list. All in good time.

Have tons of laundry, but my dryer died. Nice, eh? Where the heck is my clothesline? Oh wait- it is raining outside, besides, my neighbors would kill me.

Blog-wise, I’m working on my son’s redesign, but I’m not aiming to finish it in one day. My son’s fine with that, says he’s in no rush, which makes me feel good, because it means he’s happy with his current one. But I know how excited he is about the one I’m working on. *grin*

I wanted to thank you all for your visits and comments on my children’s blogs, Blog Boy Blues and The Secret Garden. My kids get SO EXCITED when they receive your comments! Just seeing them so jazzed brings a smile to my face. Did you know that alone makes my days so much brighter? Well, it does. Thank you! We’ll have to work something out in regards to my daughter replying, probably I type as she dictates. My son takes care of his own replies, weekly.

Well, I do have to catch up with reading ALL who are in my blogroll, so if you’re on the list, I’ll be stopping by today. And if you’re not on my list, uh… why?

Off to lunch, then some blog reads, some painting, then more cleaning, homework with the kids, dinner, dishes, more blog reads. I need want more time during the day. I hope you have a good one!

I'll be working on integrating my blogs together, so that I don't have to post a notice here that I've updated elsewhere. Makes sense, no? Ideas welcome.

Just posted another dream bit. Not much, hence the 'bit'. Read at Museful.

I also posted something that is quite disturbing at the Orlando MetroBlog.

Wonder if I'll get any sleep tonight. Sheesh.

You guys should remind me never to attempt a whole site design in one day.
Particularly not when sick.
EVER.

The Secret Garden finally has a design to go with my little girls spirit. Go check it out. :o)

I'm headed for bed now that I'm done, but I didn't want to leave without extending my most heartful thanks to all of you. Those of you that have visited my daughter's site, The Secret Garden, and left a comment there for her have rocked her world!!!

She's been working on a new post for tomorrow, with pictures. :o)

Now I guess I'll have to give my pages a complete overhaul, too. Yeah, it's contagious that way. We'll see.

"it's like a wildfire born of frustration..."

Daughter is coughing up a storm here, and I'm all sniffly, but we are in good spirits. So we step outside into nature, to take in the beauty of this day. Only this day had many surprises in store for us.

We sat for about an hour, both in awe at how our Willow keeps stretching its limbs high towards the Sun. There's a lesson to be learned here, and I'm humbly accepting it, with open heart. I know my daughter understands it, too.

The doorbell rings, and as I look through the peep-hole I recognize who it is. My young one is not to miss a step, so she's promptly asking as to who is at the door. I told her she's going to want to see this.

As I open, she cries out in joy and excitement. "It's the man, the man with our new tree, Mom!"

Only the man has two trees, and my daughter is to decide which one will now grace our space and our lives. She looks at them both, studies them, extends her left hand out to feel the thickest of the tree. She looks up at all the fresh leaves, lifting her hands to softly touch them. A whisper. I glance at her, and notice her eyes are full of tears. I feel it, too. She's chosen. We thank the man, and she helps me carry our new tree to our backyard.

After watering our new willow tree, she named it, and then she looked at me.

"Mom, where is Willow going to be at now? She growing, and we need to take care of her."

"We'll relocate her, until she grows stong enough to be out there again. We'll just keep her closer. And that will be a good thing for all of us."

"Yeah."

[contemplative silence]

"Oh no, Mom, you still haven't done my blog! How am I going to show everybody our new tree?!"

Her flowers are growing, as is her mind.

:::

You can take a peek here: The Secret Garden. She's already created her first post -only five years old. (Yes, my heart just skipped a beat!) She's inviting you to several things. I'm not going to edit her writing. I want to see her progress online. She was sounding out all the words as she typed, and they're up in said manner. The default style won't be there too long, since she's pouring out ideas, and my head is starting to think code and CSS all over again. Fun. Working designs always is. Go on now, read, and leave her a comment; you'll make it a day she'll always remember. ;o)

Scene: My daughter starts up the conversation after we spend a few minutes feeding the ducks.

Kiki: "Mom, I don't think those ducks are friends anymore?"

Me: "Why would you say that?"

Kiki: "Because that duck was stepping all over that one, and that black one stepping on top of the other white one."

:::

Yes, it's mating season.

Been in denial since last Friday, but I can't deny it any longer. So here goes: Achoo! I'm sick. I need to rest.

There, that wasn't so hard after all.

Even though my plans for this weekend were a bust, which is sad because it was a perfect weekend, I did receive some wonderful news. I have both online and offline aquaintances interested in a couple of my paintings. That alone is a most excellent and wonderful experience! More on the art scene soon. :o)

Also I received snail-mail notice from Poetry.com that the poem I submitted is to be published Summer 2005 (?), in a compendium titled Eternal Portraits. I'd love to learn who else has been selected for this or any previous collection, because I have a few questions. Seems that anyone selected to be published must purchase their own copy of the collection. Hm. You'd think they'd gift the author with one, no? And oh, we don't get paid for it. Niiice. If that's the deal, well them I believe it might be easier to self publish a personal collection. Many things to ponder.

I hope your weekend was illness free and enjoyable! Even with my sniffles I have things to be very happy about. Now, I must go drool over some pictures of a beautiful and handsome 6 month old cutie named Sam. ;o)

I didn't want to get my hopes up, or get too excited, and just end up setting myself up for dissapointment. Would something positive come out of this whole event, leave us with a lesson to learn, not only for my kids, but also myself? Something along the lines of principal, honesty, love for all nature, respect, justice?

My stance has not changed, not since what happened to our Willow on Friday. The man promised to come, and he made good on his word. Ed stopped by. He took one glance at the remains of Willow, and immediately recognized the damage done, confirming it had been one of his mowers. He also noted that Willie was in fact the one working our pond on Friday.

He politely pointed out that, when his company bid on the property, the bid if for straight mowing, and not to go around any trees, which is the sole reason we are asked not to plant anything on this area. However, he also recognized that this does not mean that they are to uproot anything we might actually plant on this area. If our doing so presented a true challenge for them to do their job, then the matter would be taken through the appropriate channels. He said my tree presented no such challenge, and that he was sorry that this happened, that it simply shouldn't have, and that he will be getting us a new tree.

Willie the Willow Slayer? Well, simply put, he's in trouble.

I'm pleased to be getting a new tree. I'm happy that I'll be able to share the good news with my children, and a wrong has been righted in the most positive way. Ed was a nice man, and has brought a smile to my face today. Yes, I remain sad about my Willow. But look at the picture. Do you see what I see? I didn't want to get too excited about this either, but it seems to me I have not been the only one doing some fighting. :o)

Hmm. I wonder... what two truck loads of armed S.W.A.T. officers stealthy as can be, and an ambulance entering in complete silence want around my neighborhood?

Edited [8:03am]: Ok, they've just left. Almost half an hour to do whatever it is they were going to do. I'd like to think that in this case, being this the new neighborhood it is, "no news is good news".

We all know Monday isn't a favorite day among the week, but I can't think of a better way to have spent this past Monday. Only thing missing was my Soy White Mocha. Go! Read!

Tuesday (yesterday) was so exhausting, I could've sworn the week just ran right over me. It was BlogBoy's field trip to St. Augustine, and it was fun. We certainly brushed up on some history, which BlogBoy knows more about than me! I'll let him post about that, but I'll post my favorite pics.

There's another one at Beyond Focus. I believe he died of the yellow fever epidemic. There will be another version of it soon.

Wednesday, today, well just go read the post below. Heh. Tonight I'll be catching up with email. I've fallen behind on my replies since I wasn't home yesterday.

Thursday and Friday are sort of To Be Decided, but most surely will be spent painting outside and catching up on household chores. Unless it gets windy and in lieu of having my easel make like a kite and fly away, to hell with the chores then. Those are usually on the backburner when I'm painting anyway. But hey, there's work to be done!

Saturday also TBD, but I have a feeling I'll be heading downtown. :o) Sunday I have BlogBoy's friends coming over. More than likely they'll be splashing away in the pool. Just watch that day breeze by.

Ok, your turn. How's your week going? What are your plans for what's left of this week?

Found the guy who killed my tree. Yes, he's outside mowing again. Asked for his name, to which he replies "Willie". Who would've thought? Asked then for the name of the company he works for, his employers name, employers phone number. Asked him if indeed he was here last Friday. To which his reply was "Yes". Yes, I did all this with a big, bright smile on my face. Heck, I even offered him a glass of iced water. My momma taught me well -she always said a true lady would kill 'em with kindness.

Well momma, not this lady, not today. NOW I inquire as to why the hell he'd go over a perfectly healthy tree, and even worse, NOT knock on my door to notify me (this in the event he's blind and couldn't see an almost 6 ft tall willow tree).

Wait for it...

sudden case of amnesia. Oh no, he didn't do it, no, he wasn't even here Friday, now that he remembers correctly. He'd never do that, and if he had, he'd let me know. He's so sorry for my willow, so very sorry. Then he proceeds to tell me there's no way a mower would have done that, that the damage would have been different, leaving nothing but mulch. I tell him I know that isn't entirely accurate, I personally have logged hundreds of hours on a tractor-mower like his, taking care of my dad's acres. I know exactly how they work, and the damage they can do. He insists it’s impossible. I say prove it. I stuck the long bamboo stick which gave my tree support this whole time deep into the ground, and asked him to run it over with the mower. He pulls it out of the ground, turns on the chipper, and feeds it thru. WTF?! I said run it over!

Again, he's very sorry about my Willow.

Yes, sorry. He will be.

Ha! His boss just called. He’ll be paying me a visit Friday morning.

It was the most beautiful Spring day yet! My hubby hardly touches my camera, but today he did, and he caught me, painting.

I was able to finish this piece, with time left to take in the sunset. I sat in my usual spot, next to my Willow; I miss my tree. No whispers.

Still it was a most beautiful day. One of the things I like most about this season and daylight savings time... there's just the right amount of time for everything.

Kiki: "Hey Mom, guess what?"

Me: "What sweetie?"

Kiki: "I know something you don't."

Me: "Really? What would that be?"

Kiki: [insert sigh of disbelief, at the fact that Mommy doesn't know this...]
"Did you know love-bugs have two heads? They do, you know, one in the front, and one in the back."

I stepped out at noon with my daughter, both with some juice to sit outside, catch some sun, and really enjoy time with each other, just sitting there, talking, our daily commune with nature.

To our horror, we found my sweet Weeping Willow tree had been killed. You know my Willow?

My Willow. It's been with me almost a year now, my Mom gifted it to me last year, May 11th (my daughter's birthday). My Willow that listened to me on my darkest days and my brightest, during my depression, recuperative relaxation and fun. My Willow gave me energy when I felt worn-out, that made me smile just to take a look at its progress. My Willow, that withstood not one, but four hurricanes last year, Jeanne and Charley were a couple of them. I even wrote a poem, not to mention lots of pictures.

My Willow which I planted with my children, and they admired how it grew, it's strength and resilience, it’s beauty. I teach my children how to love, appreciate and honor Nature, and they really enjoyed it.

Yesterday, I took care to move our chairs and chimenea out of the way for the county guy to mow the lawn, and good grief, he cannot say to me that he didn’t see my tree! It’s taller than me! He then proceeded to cowardly stick the tree back in the ground, as if I wouldn’t notice. This morning I noticed it was leaning a bit, and I assumed it was due to the thunderstorm that passed thru here yesterday, which spun a tornado further North from us. I was wrong.

This is what's been done to my tree:

   

It was home to many tiny creatures, like spiders, ladybugs, stick bugs, and even yellow spotted bugs. It had special significance for me, and it felt like home to me.

How exciting! If you've found your way to my page via Michele, a very special welcome to you! I'll be sure to make my way to your blog, too. I've visited many new and interesting blogs today; thank you for stopping by. :o)

Thanks for being so wonderful, and for making the blogosphere a better place, Michele!

Most of our day today was spent outdoors. We let ourselves be inspired by the whistling wind, the scent and sounds of nature, and the bright light and infinite sky we basked under. It was awesome.

Since my daughter is still sick, running a fever that has split her lip a few times already, and feeling miserable, the invitation to head outdoors was too much to pass up, for both of us. She was excited! We took our time setting up, and inspiration struck early.

One of the most important things about spending time with our children is listening. It keeps those channels of communication open. Usually, I get very quiet when I paint, perhaps playing some soft music in the background. Ambiance was provided by nature today, and since my princess is usually very talkative, I decided I would listen. When was the last time you sat down with your kids, shared an activity, opened your heart to what they had to say, and listened, really listened? I like to do it often; I hope you do, too.

I listened with great intent as she put forth several ideas, some making me laugh, others making me think. Did you know she doesn't have a blog? I didn't even know it was an issue. Well, apparently it is. Her brother has one, I have several, and she has none. My faux pas? Stating that she doesn't type yet. She cut in right there, and sternly objected: "But I can write my name! And blogs are also to put my art in! And I want it to be called [...]" So there you have it. Now I must get working.

She spoke about missing her pets, reaching the realization that we had to find another good home for our dog because of her health. That is a big thing to understand at five years old, and I understand her pain -I share it- but it's a sacrifice I hope she can appreciate later in life. She also voiced her concern at what her brother is facing at school, having been punched and teased. (He did blog about it, go read.) It's a very big deal. I didn't think things could possibly go worse this year. They hugged and they cried, and she made him feel better.

Then she tells me how she was looking through my wedding album "and saw all the beautiful pictures, and then the one at the end, you know? With you and dad, and you know... the kiss?" What is it with kissing and little girls? LOL! I honestly have to ask my mom, because I don't ever remember wanting to kiss a boy, or daydreaming with princesses and all that stuff. So anyway, in an effort to hopefully delay any desire or intention my little princess may have of ever kissing a boy (I told her she had my permission when she turns 33), I told her that kisses like that are for Mom and Dad, and that little girls and little boys have to wait and grow up before they can kiss like that. By the calm expression on her face, I'd like to think it made sense to her.

But wait, it gets better! After several minutes of silence...

"Mom, is it OK for a Mom and a Mom to kiss?"

*cough* [drink water, breathe, remember to remain calm...]

"Oh, hmm, you mean kiss like Mom and Dad?"

"Yes."

"Where did you see that?"

"Channel 16. I was looking for cartoons."

[...]

Note to self: check parental controls for channel 16.

Anyhow, here's a shot of our day today. In my books, it was wonderful. In my daughter's own words: "Today is the bestest day of my life ever Mom." All I really did was listen... Obviously I did something right.

Yes, this past Friday. Did you get someone, or did someone get you? I refrained from commenting about how that day went, because of so many different things happened that spun so many different emotions. Sure made me look like a fool.

Started off great, I sketched up a few pieces I want to work, and laid down some underpainting. I was embracing the sudden rush of creativity. These past few days had been kinda sluggish, art wise, which is why I was so enthused by the flooding of images in my head and my sudden need for putting them down on paper -quick.

Then, a phone call from my friend, confirming she was coming over. How exciting! We were going to have a great day.

Wait for it... 'cept for the moment her two year old messed up one of my paintings. You remember this one? I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. So did my friend. Well, she did do some screaming. I had laid it out, ready to take to the shop for framing on Saturday, and now, well, now I'm trying to figure out if I can fix it. *sigh*

This to compound on a sort of creative halt. Now looking at this painting in it's current state just floors me. I might end up just taking that piece onto the guest room, out of sight, so that I may finish the other pieces I'm working on.

Tomorrow, I'm taking my painting outside. I'm hoping for a day similar to these past few ones, because they've been just heavenly, picture perfect.

Another event that messed up part of my Friday was when my friend and I returned home after stepping out for a couple of hours, my son, BlogBoy, greeted me in sobs and tears. Reason? He was punched in the mouth by a classmate. Hello?! I was in 8th grade before my first fight. I had already graduated for my second one, and it was with a guy. And no, he didn't hit back. He knew what was better for him. Neither ocassion was the reason when I was suspended. (I'll tell you some other time about that incident.) What's with kids nowadays?

The principal took care of the situation, as my husband informed me, and the attacker was suspended for three days. BlogBoy wrote about it in his journal, but I just think it's just too hard for him to blog about right now. He'll fill you in with the details when he does. Today, however, I kept him home from school. He got into his clothes and was all set, when he suddenly started crying that he didn't want to go to school. I wasn't about to send him in that state of mind. We've talked, gone through an energy balance, but I feel I'm at a loss with him. I don't bring up my children encouraging violence, but I also don't want him getting bullied either, you know? He should defend himself. But what does a mom say?

A really positive thing was when I received a message from my best friend Lori, from Canada. We hadn't 'talked' for a while, and I thought perhaps I said something hurtful, or was misunderstood. It was due to missed communication, as in she never got my messages. We're good! I'm looking forward to seeing pics of her, her baby boy, and the rest of her family. :o)

Good things for today? The Buzz is back. I also have another picture up at Beyond Focus.

Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. (sometimes to a fault). Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. (my husband would agree.) Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. (this sentence doesn't make much sense to me; one goes with the other in my books.) Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. (They must have me confused with someone else.) Tends to bottle up feelings. (Not. Well, maybe a little.) Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

snagged from jen

Happy Anniversary to... us! A day like today, 12 years ago, my hubby and I said "Yes".

No, seriously. We've had our great and awesome years, and a fair share of our not so awesome and great horrific and gruesome years, but we've made it this far, and we're a better couple for it. Hasn't been easy, but it's been a hell of a ride.

What? You didn't get to see the wedding pictures? Oh, OK, let me dust them off for you. Uhum, yeah, I'd love to burn my wedding album, but since that has nothing to dow with how happy I am today, I'll let that be a story for another day. Agreed? Here's a couple of my favorite shots. I hope you like them.

"Now, honey, about those clothes hanging out of your open drawers..."

Objective: Rescue Turtle from the middle of the street so it make the morning edition of Road Kill

M.O. / Tactics: Grab a firm hold of said Turtle with both hands and place turtle in trunk of car (reason being there was no body of water close, and I do reside lakefront)

As you can see, Turtle occupies on third of my trunk space -mighty grand turtle to find wandering the streets if you ask me. [Exhibit A]

All missions of course, has it's repercussions. Case in point: Turtle likes breasts too, as he attempted to get a big snip off me. Intensive training of course yielded my keen and immediate reflexes, so all Turtle got was my shirt and bra. My left breast has been spared. [See Exhibit B below]

Never in my life had I see any turtle run so fast. As I set my camera in order to take pictures to catalog the success of this mission, and Turtle's return to a safe haven, Turtle ran away, diving deep underneath the calm waters of Lake Waterford Chase. How fast can a turtle run? Pretty darn fast, since all I was able to take of Turtle's release was his speedy hind and a graceful wave goodbye. [See Exhibit C, below]

Debriefing: Mission was a success. Turtle now resides happily in a fitting habitat.

End report.

All in a days work.

What do pastel painting, I Love Lucy, the Genesis spacecraft and mission, and a newsletter regarding privacy issues from GoDaddy.com's Bob Parsons have in common?

I don't know either, 'cept for the fact that had the dream gone on for what felt like eternity, I would've peed the bed this morning. This was a truly unsettling wake-up call. Can you notice the sudden twitch in my eye? I swear it wasn't there yesterday!

Ehem. Composure.

In any case, the first image to pop into my head was this, which I quickly put on paper, and still have no idea as to where it will lead. Maybe my inner artist is getting unblocked. :o)

Rest in peace, Terri.

Terri Schiavo dies, at age 41, March 31, 2005.

Today was nothing like I hoped it would be. It was one of those days I wish I could do all over again, for many different reasons.

Sitting in front of my canvas yielded nothing, creativity was practically non existent. I wanted to go right back to bed at 11AM, and wake up all over again. Maybe the day would get better after that. But I didn't go to bed. Instead, I headed out to run some errands, get a new phone, some groceries, and return just at the appropriate time for early afternoon coffee, which I purposefully took outside.

After that, the day seemed to be in a hurry to end.

The day was beautiful, more so when I decided to take part in it, stepping outside, communing, and taking it all in. It was pristine. I even heard the grass grow. Still, I would've loved to have been able to get some art work done. Perhaps tomorrow will be just as beautiful, but also creatively promising.

There's too much pain and suffering in the world. Terri Schiavo is all over the news, there is so much negative energy surrounding her situation; I feel such deep sorrow for her. There is not a damned thing I can do, really, except send positive energy her way, and take a moment. For her. She deserves that.

(I didn't shoot this picture for her, but now everytime I look at it, she comes to mind. So there.)

My sister was sent home Monday evening, exactly one week after giving birth. She called up to let us know, and broke down crying over the phone. She spoke of so many things that didn’t go as she had planned, imagined, expected. But really, how can one ever expect something concrete from an event as unpredictable and out of ones control as is childbirth? Such a thing simply does not exist.

The only time you have some control or say in the outcome is during your pregnancy, taking better care of yourself, and as much as I love my sister, I believe she could’ve done a better job at it.

To compound on her sadness, Mom returned home Tuesday morning.

I’m sad that my sister wasn’t able to experience childbirth as I did, that her child-bearing experience has not been an enjoyable one. A cesarean birth can have so many complications. I’m sorry that she and her beautiful baby boy haven’t had the chance to bond, and to spend quality time, alone, just the one to the other, until yesterday. Baby was finally going home.

Earlier today I stopped by to see how they are doing, see if there was anything they needed that I could do for them. I was greeted with a hug, a kiss, and a smile brimming of pure joy. She looks better, and she seems so happy. Seeing her with that great big smile on her face gave me peace. I cannot imagine what feelings I’d have had to deal with had it been my child, had I been released knowing that my baby would remain in the hospital until notice that he was healthy enough to go home. I would not have left his side. Can you picture me sleeping in the waiting area of the NICU?

Thankfully, baby is home now, cuddling with mom and making up for the time they’ve been apart. Two weeks apart for a newborn and his mom seem like a lifetime to me.

My sister is getting better, slowly but surely. Tubes were taken out. Baby is still in NICU with IV, not digesting food yet. He's also jaundice, but they have the lights shining on him. He's opening his eyes, moving, even grabbing tightly onto our fingers.

Me, I'm OK, immensely happy, incredibly sleepy, and unbearably achy since my mom and I have been in the hospital with them nearly 24/7, getting maybe four hours of sleep. Just a bit closer to exhaling, now.

Thank you all so much for your comments, emails, and calls. They've meant the world to me, and my sister is greatly appreciative of your support. Much love to all of you.

Josué Isaias (would be Joshua Isaiah in english), was born on March 14, 2005

Weight: 8 lbs
Height: not yet known to me

He's in ICU. He's being treated for a blood infection, is on oxygen because not enough was getting to his lungs and bloodstream nor his extremities. His blood is being expanded. I don't know what this infection is called, and no information is being given to my mom or myself.

My sister is recuperating from her C-section. After pushing for 3 hours, doctor said baby was too big to be born naturally.

I'll be back with more as soon as I have more to share.

This morning I was feeling a bit under the weather. Bit of a headache, and little groggy. I was pretty much feeling the way it looks outside. Nothing but clouds and rain. After getting soaked as we walked home from school, taking our respective showers in the hopes of warding off a cold, my daughter decides in her matter-of-fact way that she want to be "just like mom". She says she'll only be a minute (not the expression), and walks out of my room sporting my bandanna: "Ta-da!", it's just like magic!

I give my daughter a huge hug, tie up the bandanna correctly, and she darts upstairs. I follow, and find her sitting in my studio making all these funny faces. The moment would have been lost if I didn't shoot a picture. I'm not sure that I make all those faces, but I'll assume that painting certainly brings some gestures to my face.

Flashback. I'm suddenly reminded of when I did something similar, expressing to my mom that I wanted to be just like her, running to her bedroom, then walking out into a dining room full of my parent's friends wearing her black bra. I had no idea I could work such a big crowd! Ah, those were the days. Everything was so simple.

Kids are the best medicine a mom can have.

Just thought I'd let you know I've been pretty busy between taking care of my sister (preggie body), who I've already rushed to the hospital twice. She's on her 36th week, with a baby due on April Fools Day, yet already with strong contractions and 3 cm dialated. Baby J (very-active-lil-body), however, seems to be enjoying that his Mommy and Auntie Zee are running all over the place, going all 'ga-ga' awaiting his arrival.

My good friend Crankydragon (sleepy-body last time I checked) is also having a baby, same due date. I'm going to drop her a note soon. :o)

When not in the hospital, I can be found at home, painting. Which explains my absence here. I promise I'll get to your sites during the next few days, as well as answering all your emails. Thanks for keeping in touch! :o)

Let me know what kind of body you've been this week. I already have an idea of how Busy Mom is doing... heh.

Among other things yours truly is doing, next on my reading list is A Brush with Darkness, by Lisa Fittipaldi. You see, to me, she is an amazing artist. Her paintings are vibrant with color and brimming with energy. Her paintings tell tales. However, that's not why I think she's amazing. Why? She's blind. Yes, you read right. Now venture onto her site, and explore her work for yourself. I think you'll be delighted.

Lisa Fittipaldi.com :: Art from the Mind's Eye

Vernal Equinox on the 20th, at 7:33am EST.
Just thought a preview of things to look forward to was in order.

ELECTRIC GREEN

(bloom from last year)

Here's my banner, because I was there. I had heard things about this so called "Genuine Bash", and of course, I had to see for myself.

It was definitely time well spent, as I enjoyed the splending company of many female bloggers. The people I met were wonderful, I'm keeping in touch with several of them via their blogs and email, and I'm definitely looking forward to the next bash.

Did I get bashed? No. I kept myself in check, after all, it was my first time, and I thought I should therefore be on my best behaviour. Yes, I exherted composure.

Our host for the evening, however... well, it was his bash, what can I say? Or like one of the gals put it "It's his party, and he can do what he wants to." And he did. Yes, he was done in, if I recall correctly, shortly after 11pm.

But don't take my word for it, see for yourself! [click on image below]

I'll entertain the idea that this continued well into the early hours of the morning, long after Mrs. G's efforts to nudge him awake proved unsuccessfull, as I signed off at 2:10am. (Images to support these statements exist; last image recorded at 2:08am.) Being the honest person that I am, I informed Genuine that I had, in my possesion, proof of how wasted he was. I even provided him with the photos, but not before letting him know I retain copies... a caveat to the blogger, if you will. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm saving for a rainy day.

*Note: Copies have been forwarded to Rae, in the event I'm suddenly and inexplicably met with an ill fate.

I'm a sucker for tea. I love tea as much as I love my coffee, and if you know me, you know what I mean.

Herbal teas are my favorites, along with Green Tea and Black Tea. I also love Chai, but that's besides the point. Adagio Teas, which you can find online, has a nice little offer. I help them spread around the word, they send me some free tea. And while free tea is good, free Adagio Tea is better.

So, follow that link! Go on. Then go place one on your site as well. You've got nothing to lose, and some yummy tea to enjoy. So go spread the word while it lasts. Call me when you get your tea, and we'll enjoy tea time together!

[now back to your regularly scheduled programming...]

Perfect morning meditation. I enjoyed it so much I wanted to share. Just lay back, breathe deeply, and take it all in.

Subter.com, Under the Radar, Issue Two, is out today.

There's a little bit of everything there, for everyone. You'll even find a couple of my submissions there, but you'll have to go see for yourself. ;o)

And my subscription of The Artist's Magazine came in, so I have something more to dive into tonight.

My mood today has been mellow, as in relaxed and unhurried. And it feels good.

My darling girl noticed that there aren't very many pictures of mom to show around. She asked her brother, and since he didn't know, she asked me.



Kiki: "Mom, why isn't there more pictures of you?"

Me: "I'm usually behind the camera, Sweetie."

BlogBoy: "Well, that's a lame excuse, Mom."

Me: "!"



So, here goes, for the record.

We need more cameras in the house.



(the session lasted one hour, and you are all so lucky not to see my static smile by the end of the shoot.)

I usually record the first words that come to mind when I wake up in the morning. Most of the time they don't make sense, but sometimes they are like insightful.

This morning, however, I was left baffled with what first came to my mind. Care to guess? Well, sorry, let me save you the trouble. First thought in my mind this morning was: The Periodic Table. Yup. That one, The Periodic Table of Elements. And I have no clue as to why. Was I dreaming about all things science? Is the neck and back spasm I'm still suffering due to some element on this table? Is my body hinting that it is in need of something I'll find only there? Will my children love science as much as I did? Should I go back to school? Your guess is as good as mine.

So, I go about my morning routine, coffee, get the kids ready and off to school, back home, more coffee... and I get online to go through my email. Reply to a post, visit her site, and I'm incredibly distracted, suddenly I feel the urge to follow a link at her site, a link which reads "Meet a Sweet Yogini", I think to myself 'nice, yoga, if only this spasm would let loose, my mind, body and spirit could use some yoga today'... and I'm left baffled, again. Where did I land as my second blog for today? Here's a screenshot -because you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Continue reading "Thoughts upon waking" »

From inside my studio, I could hear the wind blowing, strongly, willfully, pressing against the house, exerting pressure against the windows. I glance out, and I see the trees swaying wildly, so I decided to step out to see what the fuss was all about.



The wind almost swept me off my feet. It wasn't blowing, it was roaring. Almost as astounding as the force of the wind -which immediately brought to mind images of our hurricane season of 2004- was the startling sky. Covered with clouds moving rapidly, the hues up above rendered quite an eerie canvas. It was, in a word, breathtaking.

I believe I've emailed all of you in reply to your comments regarding the post below. And to those of you who emailed, I know that there must be more words out there to precisely express my appreciation, I just can't think of enough of them right now.

To all of you, thanks for taking the time to share encouraging words, from the bottom of my heart. It's people like you who promote healing, aid in creating awareness, and you become part of that dynamic energy behind all small acts of courage.

Thanks, again.

These past few days have been really testing, and much too painful. To say it simply, it is haunting. I’m referring to the discussion found here, here and here, pertaining to the use and misuse of the word rape, and the effects the misuse of this word has on those who have suffered such a horrendous act. So, in taking an assertive step, and in moving forward, I’m posting this. (Long entry below.)

Last month, I traveled home to see my sick grandma, and was lucky enough to see her alive, if only for a few hours. During my stay with my parents, my mother and I were in constant conversation; we had a world of catching up to do. After all, it’s not the same speaking on the phone over thousands of miles than enjoying conversation in person.

Continue reading "Using our words wisely" »

Ok, here’s a call out to anyone willing to share advice.

There comes a time in our lives, as we grow up, when we are faced with such sad, pathetic, hurtful things such as HATE.

Today was such a day for my 10 year old son. As his mom, there’s plenty I can say to help, but since most of us have suffered through such an experience at least once in our lifetime, I figure I’d ask for your input. Sometimes a young boy needs encouraging thoughts from others –and I believe this is one of those times.

I don’t want the “well, she’s mom, of course she’s going to say this or that…”> idea to linger much inside my young man’s head.

What really ticks me off is, for a teacher to read the note out loud and have nothing to say in regards to hate… what purpose does that serve? I mean, really? Was she more concerned about the box and the willingness of the kids to express their feelings in a future occasion had she said something?

Anyway, I'm being vague here. Go read BlogBoy’s post. He hasn’t posted anything since December, mostly because he's been so busy with homework, but for him to come home, and head straight to the computer to blog about it, well, that’s kind of saying something right there.

Then again, maybe not.

Continue reading "trying to find something? Google it!" »

I've got a new poem up. Go read Indigo Dreams at Museful.

Posted a picture earlier today, one I shot when I began my Calla Lily studies, but never got around to posting it. Not sure why, since it's one of my favorites. You can check it out at Beyond Focus.

Nothing like a full body massage at 7am. You should have one, too. I'm usually giving massages, so it's very nice to be on the receiving end once in a while. I worked through a world of feelings and emotions, which had tied my neck and back into one big, giant knot. Having a massage at the perfect time is priceless.

Color and associations in today's massage and energy balance:

• red: anger; have I been scorched by traumatic expriences? am I masking pain?
• black: loss; what do I feel or recognize is missing in my life?
• blue: fear; what am I trying to run away from? what am I fighting?

In Chi, both red and blue are Yin; meridians of heart and kidneys respectively, which sure enough were the ones that needed balancing. Now I’m able to move my head side to side, and my back doesn’t hurt as it did.

The body never lies. It has a universal language, and when it’s got something to say, make no mistake, it’s going to come right out and say it. And if you don’t pay attention it will immobilize you, until you take action.

Enjoyed my morning coffee and am back home, ready to step outside. I'm all set up, ready to paint, knowing I still have the whole day ahead of me. I knowing that it’s ok to feel the way I sometimes do; I must be patient, accepting and understanding with myself, and work my way through it. Today is a beautiful day, I’m relaxed right now, and that is a wonderful feeling. I hope you have a wonderful day as well.

Edited: If you know me, you know I do not believe in coincidences. The colors worked with today match the ones I've been working with in another painting, which spun a little poem I posted last night at Museful, titled Self.

Sharing this clip of one of the things I'm working on at the moment. I know it's not showing much, but it's not finished, and I don't want to give it all away right now. Feel free to throw any first words or thoughts that come to mind. I'm not sharing the title of this one yet because I don't want to create any associations in your mind as to what it is. I am, however, very interested in seeing what it evokes in you.

The day is beautiful, and I feel good. I'm hoping all of you are doing well. Thanks to those of you who brought much needed words to me, some that made me cry as I hadn't done yet and needed to, and others that made me laugh so hard it seemed like I'd split at the seams. I had not laughed like that since last year.

It was awesome.

I return from running some errands and browsing books at Barnes & Noble just in time to pick up my kids from school. I'm feeling kind of Zen at the moment, and I'd love to keep the serene and peaceful mood going. It's a welcome change from how busy it's been up in my head. So upstairs I go, turn on the computer, and pop an Atmospheres CD into my drive. My daughter, who's followed me upstairs, glances at my choice, and immediately says, "No Mom, not that one, put the one with the babbling brook!"

No, it's not a typo, you read it right -she said babbling brook. Not quite as serene as my choice seemed, now is it? I mean, I can relax to the sound of ocean waves, a forest rainfall, and yes, maybe even a bubbly brook. Babbling? I mean, where does she get this stuff from? Perhaps her teacher has used the word to describe her performance during the day? I've already been told she's quite talkative, not that I needed to be alerted to that fact. After all, she takes after her mother. In any case, with my pretty princess' continuous chatting, I believe that babbling is the most fitting adjective in regards to how she's been behaving since yesterday. I swear to you, she even talks in her sleep.

Guess I wasn't the only one feeling Zen.

When I woke this morning, I did have a reason for quiet. Today, I was seeking solitude.

A month to the day I lost my Grandma, my heart and mind are still working around some very raw emotions (yes, you read that right, I said around). Some so strong they made me feel like I wanted to run away. I needed quiet from the mess in my head. As I entered a short intermission of silence, I was moved to see that the very thoughts lingering inside my head were the ones I was most eagerly trying to escape. And that hurt.

Usually, I meet them head on, I work through them; I deal, in the best way I know how. True to form, I walked upstairs, pulled out a new canvas, and stared blankly at its bare skin. From within me, no colors or shapes, thoughts or emotions would come forth. It’s like writer’s block, only worse, because it takes hold of all my senses.

So, to break the pattern, I decided to go out in search for reference material, an outside source, something fresh and new, to serve as inspiration for my work. Slipping my camera around my neck, I stepped out for my Starbucks ritual, with a mission to catalog events from exciting to mundane -anything, really- that would create a spark and send me charging into a new, perhaps different piece of work, and obviously, keep my mind busy.

As events would have it, my car broke down shortly after leaving Starbucks. Yes, color me stranded on Hwy 50, and no, I did not take a picture my car, or a self-portrait of my rotten mood at the time, or the handsome devil that stopped to help. Not that he could, but hey, eye candy –who can say no to that? Anyway, as soon as the car’s engine turned, I headed home. A reason for quiet? Hardly.

However, energy follows intention. I’m not a believer of coincidence. I set out for something this morning, and sure enough, I found it right where I had started off, at home and, within me.

All I had to do is listen.

__________
Go check my post at Metroblogging Orlando, regarding the upcoming art exhibition at sixspace that will feature Laura Mosquera’s Beauty in the Breakdown. The artist has a piece titled A Reason For Quiet, which was very much on the same wavelength as to how I started my day, and the story speaks to something still tender in my heart. I used its title as the title for this post.

I had forgotten to post an update on our latest DIY project. So, here it is. All done, and kitchen all cleaned up. I think I cleaned it compulsively this week. Yes, I continue to embrace my inner Monk.

My day started kinda blue, which me trying to escape my thoughts. Didn't help that I was thinking about my grandma, or the choice in music playing on my favorite music channel. I didn't want to cry, because it still feels like if I start, I won't be able to stop. So, what do I resort to when I want to avoid thinking? Cleaning. I cleaned everything, right until I was left without anything else to clean.

Next tactic: get online, get busy. It's not like I can concentrate on painting when I'm feeling like this. I dive right into my email, where my good friend Deb has emailed me a Hallmark card. How sweet of her; the thought makes me smile. I remember how much we talked when she spent the week at my house with her two beautiful babies while her husband was out of town. A lot of work, with two babies and two kids at home, but we had a great time.

Perhaps she sensed I was feeling sad? Has it happened to you, that sometimes you’re thinking of someone, of wanting to speak with that person, or wondering how they are, then the phone rings, and it’s that person? Well, we've always been able to communicate in special ways like that, sometimes even sharing the same dream. Anyway, since my cell phone isn’t working, she emailed me.

I’ve decided to share the card with you, because it’s quite a puzzle. The sentiment of the card is to express her condolences for the loss of my grandma, yet at the same time, she’s thanking me for being there for her when she was the one in need of a good friend. She managed to make me smile and cry, for two different things, all with the same e-card.

Continue reading "Analyze This" »

There are few places where I can feel like I'm at home. Starbucks is at the top of that list, followed by B&N and Target which -stay with me- both feature a Starbucks inside! Anyway, I just walk in, and they start preparing my drink. Venti Soy White Mocha, with whipped cream. They don't even ask for my name as they write "Zee" on the cup. I have always been pleased with my visit. However, we don't "live in Perfect", right? It was bound to happen, of course, one time or another.

Today, Starbucks did not have my pound of Lightnote, which is one of my favorite blends. It makes my spirit sing, just like in the picture. It's hard to find anything positive about not getting my coffee, but seeing as how my mom taught me to always look at the bright side, I looked around noticed the Aged Sumatra Lot 523. I try it. It's rich and bold, and oh so yummy! So I bought it. Bonus? They are still donating $2 to the help relief efforts due to the tsunami. Which means, I'm still helping! Somehow that makes my coffee taste even better. :o)

But I wasn't the only one to suffer a slight coffee mishap today. Jen did too, although there should be a law against wasting coffee like that, and I hope she wasn't brewing Starbucks. :oP

The servers where I host were down, and it took, along with it, all entries and comments from Feb 2nd - to date. My host restored from their backups, which only covers till the 2nd- and no, I didn't back up this past week.

Sucks.

It's like 'access denied' to some of my own memories.

I put another picture up at Beyond Focus: Open.

Well this is definitely interesting! Go play at Heroine Girl's Blogger Auction!

How is it that my little girl can decorate her breakfast in such a cheerful way, even when she is physically feeling miserable, fighting to break a fever, and battling a horrible bout of brochitis? Who cares if all she ate was the cherries and the grapes?

Sometimes, it's about the lessons our children teach us. I want to start my days -regardless of how I feel in body, mind and spirit- in the same manner as my daughter does. Some days I wish I could be more like her... I want to have such an outlook upon the wake of every day.

I'm really enjoying my Orchid studies [Something New], as well as my Calla Lillies [My O'Keeffe]. Today, however, I'm not working on my own studies, but blissfully taking a break, spending time with my children and their interests, among which is enjoying the flowers from my daughter's garden . I just love the way her face lights up when she sees yet another one of her flowers bloom. It's like a daily miracle in her eyes. I did however spin a little Haiku for the latest picture. Go see Sunkissed.

Sundays are the days I get to sleep in. Nothing like waking up at noon on a Sunday morning, having a nice, warm cup of coffee and enjoy breakfast outside, watching the wind caress the calm waters of the pond, cool breeze in my hair, commune with nature.

However, this was what my morning wake-up call looked like, way too early:

Not the Sunday I was hoping for, but I gotta love my hubby's creative drive.

UM-104

1. Coroner:: guts
2. Mystify:: color me enchanted and/or perplexed
3. Corroborate:: research, resources, darn I still have work to do
4. Misinterpret:: a common trait that makes evident how equal to each other we all are
5. Humorless:: sour soul
6. Calculus:: what's that?
7. Eye for an eye:: a very thin line between justice and revenge
8. CPR:: certification
9. Stitched:: patch me back up, doc
10. Facility:: a gym, where everything should be easy

You are the "you suck, and that's sad"happy bunny. You're truthful, but can be a bit brutal.
Which happy bunny are you?brought to you by Quizilla

via Monique, because she's funny that way...

Where's a darn box of Twinkie's when I need one?

I do believe this is one for the good doctors SC&A to analyze...

Beautiful. Don't you think?

Came back in from shooting this. I'd love to be there right now.

I arrived last night from Puerto Rico, and never have I been so sad of leaving that island. To know I was on my way over to Orlando -going home- made it real for me, drowning out the numbness. Like waking up from a bad dream, only… it's not.

I was strong for my family, maybe even to a fault. I've never felt such sadness in my soul. Hardly slept, ate very little. I held my dad up every time it seemed his legs would give way underneath the heaviness in his heart; was his shoulder to cry on, was his pillar (I hope) holding up his heaven above when I think he thought it would come crashing down on him --this big chunk of his world falling apart; was there for him during his time of deep grief. I’m so sorry for my dad, for his loss… I miss my daddy.

My many aunts and uncles requested I copy them on the poem I wrote. Yes, they all read it, and had I been brave enough, I’d have read it to everyone at the cemetery. I’m like that sometimes, not so brave. I did go see where my grandma was buried, just as they had finished putting her in the ground. Her space is covered with flowers –so many flowers- I could lie next to them and be covered, too.

Last night, I broke down. My kids came running my way at the airport, crying they’d missed me so much. I missed them immensely. I don’t think they were ready or even expected to see me in such despair. I certainly didn’t see it coming. Today, it’s like the earth underneath my feet has been shaken. I’m crashing, deep and hard. I know, it’s a process.

Thanks to all of you who posted kind words for me and my family in the comments, and to those of you who emailed as well. Your words are a balm for my heart, and continue to soothe my soul.

Hey yall, just wanted to give you an update. I arrived at Puerto Rico at noon and well, and went directly to see my grandma at the hospital. I was able to see her alive, but she wasn't able to open her eyes. She was barely breathing, in long, painful heaves.

My grandma passed away just 2 hours later.

Not much I can say right now, as I'm still kinda numb. I'm just glad that she isn't suffering any longer. She passed away quietly... we barely took notice; she left in a deep sleep.

Grandma, I love you, rest in peace.

My sadness is due to my grandma being in the hospital with pneumonia. She has survived two strokes and two heart attacks, but it seems like her frail body can't go on much longer. I'm not sure if I'll make it on time to see her...

I’ve been glued to the TV since it happened. More than interested in local news, I’ve sat for hours in disbelief that such and event would claim so many lives, and what brought the most sadness to me was the loss of all those children.

Past couple of weeks have gone without much sleep for me, and I’ve cut out and collected the stories in the newspaper regarding this horrible tragedy that has been the tsunami. Concentrating on reading has been hard. Most of the time, however, I’d just been in shock… I just didn’t know what to think.

Only one question in my mind, crystal clear: What can I do to help? One simple way is through donations. I just wish I could do more.

Today we are all trying to help in the best way we can, many of us with money, others with time. Here’s the story of one who made time and volunteered, and now he shares his story with us.

Full story posted at Metroblogging Bangkok by Paul.
Link via Sean Bonner.

It was all a fuzz. I found out the reasons why I didn't get to see it before. First, I need a more powerful eyepiece than what I have to work with. I've got power, but not that much. Second, I moved the telescope the wrong direction (by mistake) and found it. LOL! When I finally saw it -albeit somewhat hazy- I couldn't believe it, however the green hue assured me that I was looking at the right celestial body.

Ahh... now I can sleep blissfully.

As I'm waiting for my copy of Don Quixote (Edith Grossman's translation, which has received much praise) to arrive next week, I've been searching for an old copy I already own, so that I may catch up. However, I can't seem to find it within any of the boxes I've looked in. (Yes, some of my books are still in boxes from the move. *sigh*)

Many thanks to Diana, from Seeking Clarity, who has brilliantly set up a new home for group discussions, Well-Educated Minds; I'm just totally tickled. :o)

I swear I've been out there every night, trying to get a glimpse of this green comet, Machholz. Obviously, it's not so hard to find, given the many photos I've seen these past few days. I just can't find it. I've delighted in soul looking at the Pleiades, so I must not be too far. 2º to the right, that's all. *sigh* Tonight will be yet another attempt.

On a good note, I did get to see the planets last week, the 27th, and after spending 3 hours outside doing my bit of astronomical exploration, I shot this picture.

What you see here are Mercury and Venus rising in the East, at 6:13AM.
[click on image to embiggen]

Here's another picture my daughter shot during our vacation. I'm seriously thinking of letting her use my camera more often, under my supervision, of course.

We did end up at the movies at Universal's CityWalk, but we watched Meet the Fockers. It was fan'focking'tastic!

- Went to bed at 7AM; slept till 10AM
- Had brunch
- Watched I, Robot with the kids
- My submission Eye Spy was accepted at The Mirror Project

Started out the year with the biggest hubby/wife argument of all. Not much to say.

If you want to read something a bit more interesting, go read my post at Orlando MetBlogs.

I'll be going over email and blog reads I'm behind on, as well as other photographs I shot during the past week.

So I'm downloading pictures from my digital camera, and I'm telling, there's never been a time I haven't been pleasantly surprised. But this shot tops all the others. It's a self portrait my daughter took, I'm assuming in the car during our trip. I don't remember leaving my camera unattended, but I must have, and it most certainly made my daughter's day. I've found she shot several pictures, but this one is the best of all. Never have I seen a mug shot so sweet!

The year 2004 seems to have gone in a breeze- or dare I say this year went by in a gusty way- specially after the hurricanes. Everything after that is but a blur. Definitely a year to go down in history with so much disaster, having ended tragically with the earthquake and tsunami on the flip-side. We have indeed been lucky.

Give a big hug to the person next to you... I'm giving my loved ones a hug before going to bed.

On to other things, I'm SO happy to be back home after our vacation. In fact, I would've been just as happy had I stayed home. Oh, OK, it didn't all suck, though. I enjoyed time spent with family, and taking pics I'll be sharing with you. First picture up is at Beyond Focus, my niece Alexia.

It's really great to be back home.

Amazing!
We got an amazing view of the Boeing Rocket launch a few minutes ago (4:50PM EST) from Cape Canaveral. Bonus: we were lucky to see the rocket zooming it's way up to the heavens via telescope. We are falling more in love with the telescope day by day.

Now, we gaze at the moon. :o)

Ok, .:A:. emailed asking if I could post some sketches I was working several days ago. I don't have a scanner, but pictures usually do the trick. This sketch is something I've been working on over and over, and once I get it right, I'll take it onto a big ol'canvas.

[ click on image to embiggen ;o) ]

comes alive at Museful. Go ahead, read Stolen.

My daughter cried when the light in the room went out. Weird, because she knows I can change a light bulb. Still, I wonder what it is she thinks she lost, the way she cried.

I'm losing my mind. I cannot find my special bookmarks and pens, and it's driving me crazy. I never forget where I put my things, thanks to the obsessive compulsive within me.

Grinded some ink yesterday, and did a couple of little sketches in charcoal afterwards.

Did some cleaning in my closet yesterday. Found two big, warm sweaters, and washed them... I'll be needing them in this weather.

I've predicted it will snow in Florida this year. My husband looked at me like I'm crazy; I guess he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not. He's usually afraid of my predictions. Sometimes, so am I.

Was rummaging through some pictures, and found a couple of Falkor. I cried. I miss him so much.

I'm off to grind some more ink.

I can't seem to get enough of it. ;o)

I'm blaming Jen on this one, she's the one who posted a quiz tonight, and yes, I wanted to take the quiz, too. But what happened was I took several, and below was my favorite one for tonight. They all seem very accurate, which is cool.

Continue reading "Because once I start..." »

She made it so it doesn't feel like we're so far away. :o)

Love you, Nessa!

I never really told you guys about the Twinkies, right?

They get me in the mood. Don't know why, they just do. :o)

How did I come about this personal discovery? Well, I went to BJ's for grocery shopping, and first time there, this big box of Twinkies catches my eye. Next thing I know... yup. It got hot, and yes, it was just me. Amused, I notify my husband of my 'sudden state', you know, FYI... I thought nothing of it.

So, a month later, we're shopping at BJ's again, and I see the box of Twinkies. I'm into healthy foods, so I immediately dismiss the idea of purchasing the box. I go around the isle, and suddenly feel aroused again. And that's where it hit me: It's the Twinkies!!! Leave it to me to make this kind of association.

Any of you had a similar experience before?

BTW, two days later, guess what my husband brings home?

via Masked Blogger and Belle's suggestion via email. ;o)

Rings around Saturn.

It's quite one thing to grow up loving science, learning all kinds of details of the planets. It's even better to be able to share this love with your children, better yet, see their faces light up in awe and wonder and amazement and pure joy as they realize that that there is more out there than just us, than just our Big Blue Marble, and that even in such a simple way, we can touch it.

However, I must say, nothing compares to actually seeing a planet through a telescope. I'm in awe.

I'm also quite shocked that when I tried to wake my son up to share the view with him, he just turned the other way and said "Mom, I'm sleepy". Oh, he's going to be very upset when I tell him tomorrow morning.

Mommy gets busy painting, daughter gets busy painting, too. She can go on from now to 7PM, taking now breaks. I find that incredible for a 5 year old. Just don't ask her to practice writing her ABC's. You'll be lucky to get 5 minutes out of her then.

    

Nothing but morning dew and fog. Well, we didn't get to see the Moon Eclipse Jupiter. All that could be seen at 4AM - 5AM was clouds and fog. A mere glow where the moon should be shining. :o(

Now the Moon has continued it's trek across the heavens. This is where it is now:

Anyway, I didn't wake up my son, and let him rest. To my surprise, he wasn't as upset as I expected he might be - he said he had the best sleep ever. :o)

It was good to be up, just contemplating, all by myself.

Last night, I went hunting for our lat and long. Here's a shot of where we live (taken in 2002, via TerraServer-USA). So our house wasn't built yet, but you get to see the lay of the land, and how close the school is from our home. "Home" marks our spot. *grin*

It's a lot nicer now, greener, no too busy, with nice neighbors and that nice great spot in the back, trees filled with birdsong, butterflies and bees. There's even horses! Ducks to feed, kids to enjoy playing, sun, moon and wind. There's the perfect morning spot for tea, watching the wind leave it's path as it ripples over the pond.

If I'd live any other place I think it would be in the country, with a farm, lots of flowers, herbs and animals, close to water in any form.

:::
Note to Jennifer (fluttergirl.net): I hope you get this ping. I can't post to your blog; says you aren't subscribed to TypeKey when I try to log in. :o(

No, no, no... not that kind of fun, freaks!

My son and I are getting up at 4 AM to watch the Moon Eclipse Jupiter. Been ready for it since November, hehehe. Next week, it'll be the Geminid Meteor/Asteroid Shower, so you'll know where we'll be come the 13th. You're more than welcome to stop by. :o)

I'm not geared up to take pictures through our telescope (yet!), so if you want to see what it'll look like, you'll have to get up in the wee hours of the morning with us. Menu to be served: Hot cocoa with marshmallows, and Twinkies (click here for the recipie).

[I'll talk more about the effect Twinkies have on me in another post.]

Stargazing again, and it was wonderful. Found a sturdy chair my son could use, extended the legs on the tripod, and went on a tour of our universe. My son can tell you more about that. We just walked in about an hour ago.

I can top yesterday night's double shooting star with tonight's event: I caught a shooting star while looking through the telescope. Now THAT was amazing.

Just came inside from some stargazing. Tonight's sky is excellent! Really, really cool outside. :o) We exchanged the telescope because the angled mirror part kept sliding out, the screws weren't doing their job, and we found a better telescope elsewhere, and the view through this one is amazing! You tell the telescope what you want to look at, and it find it for you (after you align it properly, that is).

Didn't do much stargazing, personally; it's still painful to bend forward, and sit down, so I'm either lying down or standing -very taxing for my hips, legs, and feet. Extending the tripod legs would have meant having to prop my son onto some kind of stool or chair for him to get a good view. Until we get a stable stool, that's out of the question. No need to go chasing down any additional injuries for this household. So, I just downed a Darvocet for the pain, which is on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate a 9 right now. Always worse at the end of the day, particularly in the lower lumbar region, my hips, and of course, coccyx. I know my body is over-compensating, shifthing the weight elsewhere, trying to avoid the pain, but that just give you more pain somewhere else. Thing is, as a mom, it's almost impossible to take time off. Yes, you moms out there know exactly what I mean.

Still, it was awesome to be outside, and I was extra lucky, I saw 2 shooting stars. Cheered me up right away. I go to bed really happy, and in my dreams I hope to travel the stars.

Yeah, I know, nice way to avoid sitting down and avoid the pain. I'm painting, I get tired, lie down, then get back on my feet and paint some more. Promise I'll share soon. :o)

I did get some writing done, I'm not saying it's any good, but I was able to make my Alchera Project submission for this month (due date tonight!), and it is up at Museful. Who knows, it's something I might continue working on.

Orthopedic doc said he will not operate. I'll have to endure the pain and let the bones heal on my own.

The X-ray taken today looks SO much different than yesterday’s. I’m having my doctor request today’s to compare with his, because the one today wasn't as clear as yesterday’s –very, very cloudy- and where my doctor and I could clearly see two fractures, the Orthopedic doc today saw only one. Hmm, eh? Also, the degree of inclination from the lowest fracture to the tip of the coccyx was much different, a lot less. More to wonder about. Of course, my pain level now is 9, mostly due to having to lie down on that darn table to get today's X-ray done. Why they couldn't do it with me standing up, like yesterday, is beyond me. Maybe that may account for the difference? I should've bitched harder about that. Now it hurts all the way up my back, up to the thoracic area.

So it's time for alternative therapies. I usually only visit doctors when I’ve used all other resources available to me in the natural/holistic/alternative health realm -but I dared not try massage due to the pain. However, after giving myself a good rubbin' and wailing in the shower yesterday (mainly due to being freaked out at my doctor mentioning I’d probably need to get operated), and seeing such a pronounced difference in the X-rays, I’ve come to think maybe that helped. There are of course other therapies I engaged in, but my 10 yr old reads my blog, so I’ll leave that up to you. I will however research to see if THAT is an 'alternative therapy' I can market. ;o)

Yup, fractured coccyx. Heck, I didn't even need the doctor to explain it to me. I knew exactly what it was when it happened (but sure, there's the whole SuperMom denial thing I go thru), however, when that film went onto the light box... crap. You don't need any medical certifications whatsoever to know it's broken when it's clearly pointing the wrong direction.

If I cough it hurts -and it's hard not to cough with asthmatic bronchitis- if I laugh it hurts (so keep those jokes coming, they're prolly one of the few things keeping me sane these days), plus I still can't sit down and I hardly sleep. So how did I get myself to the doc's office? Yes, I drove myself, in excruciating pain, and praying that I didn't crash into something or someone, or that the police didn't stop me. I was practically driving laying down on my side.

So, tomorrow (hopefully) I'll be seen by a orthopedic surgeon, who’ll let me know if how soon I’ll be operated on. Because I’m telling you, there is NO OTHER WAY they’ll be fixing THAT.

Go check my son's art at BlogBoyBlues.

Below was yesterday's blessing. Tonight's, you'll find that one at Beyond Focus. They both hold their unique beauty.

This dude just caused me more pain.
Titus' Norman Rockwell is Bleeding. I laughed so hard I broke into tears and hot flashes. Who would've know I'd ever undress like that in front of the TV screen.

the one that hurts the most is the tailbone. It'll happen if you fall down the stairs. There's not a hurt in the world like it. Like I told a friend, I'd rather give birth 10 times than go thru this pain.

So what's in store for my immediate future? Lots of rest, several more movies, half a dozen books. Heck, I'll even try painting in bed. It's been done before.

couple more poems over at Museful.

Wish this was a better shot. The links will take you to a bigger image.

1024 x 768
2048 x 1536

Well, my son has been too excited to blog. So I'll break the ice tonight, because I'm excited, too.

Bryan was gifted a telescope by his grandfather last Wednesday. Since then, my poor boy had been eager to see the moon, and do some space exploring. My dad was jazzed; you know you've given a child THE PERFECT GIFT when you see the smile and the excitement in the young one’s face, such as is seen in him. However, it wasn't till last night that my son was able to see the moon, closer, with his brand new telescope. Blame it on Florida's weather... it had been cloudy and raining all these nights.

Tonight was a different story altogether. We stepped outside at 5:30, set up, and were able to really get up close with the moon.

WOW. There are no words.

They joy and awe in my son's eyes brought mine to tears. Sure, I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up (and only achieved astro-nut status), but better than that is seeing the look of pure passion, inspiration, and possibilities in the eyes of my children. They take me to the moon and back, every single day. :o)

I just wish I could take picture of what we are seeing… that we could share with you.

Among my bookmarks, this one has new significance at home. Michael Myers has been taking pics of the moon and planets for some time. Go take a peek.

I came rushing in to blog about something, then go downstairs and make a couple of calls... when the ... hiccups hit.

And they ... hurt! F...!

Now I've for...gotten what I was go...ing to say.

Poem up at Museful. :o)
Don't know what to name it, so it's yours to title. Now how about that?

I'm in a nice mood, my studio is solely lit up by candles and my monitor's glow. Tune I'm listening to Live - Lightning Crashes. Lyrics below.

Right click and save or I'll hurt you! -->here<--

Continue reading "musing along" »

Want proof? How about a few quizzies?

You will swallow some tacks. You are a little
weird, maybe not so much in a good way. Buy a
yellow tie and wear it on your head.

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh, hell, I don't know. I blame Cranky for it. ;o)

Continue reading "Procrastination at it's best" »

Grab the nearest book.
Open the book to page 23.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your journal......along with these instructions.

:::

"I believe I've been looking at things and seeing them as I though you might photograph them -isn't that funny- making Strand photographs for myself in my head [...] I think people have made me see -or should I say fee- new colors- I cannot say them to you but I think I'm going to make them."

O'Keeffe to Strand; OKeeffe, Britta Benke

via KlutzyGirl

Remember that issue with the teacher and the use of the restroom in her class? Settled, for now. My son very respectfully told the teacher he wouldn’t go to the bathroom with anyone, that he had made me aware of the situation, and that he would hope she respected both his privacy and rights, and that I wouldn’t hesitate to visit with her and the Principal on this matter. After this, my son tells me the teacher informed the class that she wouldn’t do that, that she was “just joking around”. After two days? WTF? I only have one thing to say: Mrs. P- I have my eyes on you.

Just last night on the news, reporters said a teacher had bailed her way out of jail, after being arrested for physically abusing children. From what I understand, this has been going on with this teacher for two years, where she has been called on for punching a special needs child, and the parents had complained with the school and school district authorities. Nothing was done; now dozens of parents are voicing out similar complaints. You can read the story here.

At the beginning of every school year, we trust a stranger with what is most valuable in our lives, our children, this most complete piece of our body and soul, which we hold so dear in our hearts and we’d give our life for without a blink of hesitation. To think, that there are some, so wicked and evil, that would bring harm to such beauty and innocence. What's it coming to? What a shame.

It’s like the X-Files: Trust No One.

You know how when you’re a child, if you got hurt, a kiss from mom would make it all better? There was magic in her touch, right?

Well, that’s how I’d describe my parent’s visit. They were here from Saturday until yesterday, but I swear, it was the best medicine for my spirit and at a time when I needed it the most. It soothed my soul.

So, after taking off these past few days, to spend time with them and my family, I’m back online and it seems I need to catch up again, and update you on a few things. The time away from the online world was welcome, although I missed you all very much. My inbox is full, and I promise to get those replies out, most of them today. Thanks bunches to all of you who emailed me and/or posted here, meant a lot to me. :o)

BE visitors, you rock! Those of you who've posted, voted, and bookmarked - thanks! By doing so you've given me the opportunity of visiting and enjoying your sites as well. Keep it coming! I'm telling ya... there's some great stuff out there. :o)

I'm not one to share my paintings openly, even less so when they're not finished, but this one is different. Those of you who come regularly already know what's been going on in my life; those of you in closer contact with me have a more intimate perspective. So I guess that's what moved me to share this piece. Still a work in progress, as well as a work in healing, working like therapeutic milestones. Such things are not meant to be done in a hurry.

The layering of our experiences in this lifetime is but another work in progress, unveiling in the end the composition of our life -our biggest masterpiece. Today has been my third day off all medication; I suffered withdrawal symptoms the first two days. (For such a short time on them, you can tell I'm very sensitive and aware of my body.) Something else that adds strength to my decision of dropping the drugs, all the the inhaler. I had my first of several TFH Kinesiology sessions today, by my friend and instructor, Gladys, and I was able to further explore and confirm some of what I'd already knew. Energy work is fascinating that way -the body doesn't lie.

What came up in todays session:

Feelings:

• abandon
  
• loss
  
• grief
  
• power
  

• blue
  
• green
  
• purple
  

Some of you will have an idea regarding those, but I'll leave that discussion for another day. I'm taking a bath an heading for bed.

Blog Explosion is kinda fun, and kind of addictive! There's a shitload of useless sites there, but there's quite a few others that are worthy of blogmarking. So, if you happened into my pages via BE, drop me a line! Let me have a chance at visiting your blog, too. :o)

Among the things I bumped into, one really messes with my head... links that change color? Please! My eyes, my eyes!!! What horror!
_________

Now, I’m really getting upset, and I do intend to speak to the teacher about this. My son has told me not only did she say the before mentioned today, but yesterday she said no one was to use the bathroom because she found some wrappers in it (chocolate and chips I think) and nobody was admitting to it, and my son as well as all his classmates couldn’t go to the restroom till he got home. So, what, he’s to hold it for the 6 hours? W.T.F?
_________

On a bright note, I’m so jazzed that I’m chatting with someone way on the other side of the world. It’s daytime over there, a fine looking, blustery day. She even let me watch on her webcam. Puts things into perspective, you know.

CSI tonight… awesome! Most excellent! Wish I could see it again. That murderer was an artist –with pen and paper of course!

Well, I have a book to get to, I’ve carried it everywhere today, but haven’t started reading it yet. Been almost impossible to sit down. Time for me to relax, sip tea, and indulge myself in these pages.

My son is PISSED OFF! And I’m not surprised. I’ve got half the mind to phone or pay his teacher a visit. (Yes the other half of my mind is otherwise engaged…)

My son tells me the teacher said they are not to go to the bathroom by themselves. WTF?? No one, and I mean NO ONE, accompanies my son to the restroom ‘cept for myself. He IS NOT to have someone, I don’t care if it’s another child, in the restroom with him. It doesn’t happen at home, it will NEVER happen anywhere else. I’ve got two good reasons right here:

• I suffered the unfortunate event when I was in Elementary School to have a girl from my class follow me to the restroom and hit on me. She cornered me against a bathroom door and said she wanted to kiss me and touch my privates. (Guess she didn't know the meaning of 'private')Yes, Elementary School. And yes, I did get physical with her after school... I slapped her ass up and down the street, and yes, my mom caught me at it, too. Then it was my ass.
  
• I remember a case in which a teenage boy killed a 10 year old -beat him to death- inside a restroom, in a park if I remember correctly.
  

How I want it: What I want right now is to curl up on my comfy chair, with a spoon and pint of Rocky Road, and stare at my painting(s) in progress, then close my eyes and let the colors in my head mingle and blend into something a bit more tangible, something I can lay down on paper and work with. I want to swim in a sea of hues…

How it is: I’m sitting in front of the computer, typing this, getting some laundry out of the way before I actually get back to my painting, and listening to my daughter practice at her piano. I forfeit my wish for silence, since my lil’princess had to stay home from school. She’s still sick; she coughed horribly all night. She’s managed to create a new funky spin on Three Blind Mice. My little Mozart… if only she could keep it down a few decibels.

On a sweet note, Amber Allen Publishing sent another book for review. This one, The Voice of Knowledge, by Don Miguel Ruiz, with Janet Mills. I’m looking forward to reading this one. I’ll let you know when the review is up. :o)

Yes, my day has been so far, and will continue, to be brimming with color and sound.

I send kisses to David Raynes. I knew the time would come for me to use his plugin, and after being attacked by comment spam -it's just this one particular son of a ... who keeps changing his attacks and doesn't have a static IP addy- I've added the awesome Close Comments plugin. Works like a charm. You'll still be able to comment on the latest post, and it'll keep this freak outta my hair, and outta my old entries.

I'll be taking those pictures I owe a couple of you out there soon... yeah, you know who you are! I've practically been living in my studio lately, working an a few paintings (started that new one, placed it right over the canvas still on the easel - the acrylic is dry so no worry there), plus reading a couple of books in tandem, but today my studio looked rather neat, so I shot a picture. This should fill in one of Masked Blogger's requests, hehe. Take you shoes off -you're taking a peek at my sacred space. ;o) So they say a picture is worth a thousand words, tell me, what's this one say to you?

Continue reading "itty bitty update" »

... is that by tuning out the noise -the mind chatter- you are able to get a clearer message.

One way for me to do this is thru my art, and it's what I've been working at a lot lately. Most of it will stay within my journal, but a few have already nudged their way onto canvases and pastel paper, and in that I do find lots of joy. There's a big block I've got to overcome, and I won't be able to do so if I don't face it first. Thing is, that's what isn't clear to me. So I'm letting my mind and heart find a way thru my hands and eyes to find and express what it is. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the journey, and embracing the lines and hues and words that are pouring through.

Completly unrelated, but important nonetheless, is the message I received "from above". Just before coming inside this afternoon, I saw this:

Continue reading "The beauty in stillness" »

The death of the 6 people found dead in their home seems to have been a tragic accident. A neighbor was curious that he hadn’t seem them out and about throughout the day, so he went inside a little after five o’clock. Customary as it is among close neighbors, they seem to have swapped keys, and with such he entered the home. When he saw the bodies he immediately backed out and called the authorities.

It is said their death was due to carbon monoxide poisoning. When the authorities went into the house, they found everyone settled in, as if they have all gone to sleep, everyone in the comfort of their own beds. Mr. Gonzalez lay in his bed; in another room lay the two teenage boys. In the additional room, the stepfather had taken a sheet, and was laying on the floor; his wife and the youngest son lay on the bed, as they had when they’d gone to sleep. He had worked an extra shift, had arrived home late, and went to sleep. They found the stepfather’s car was in the closed garage, with the key in the ignition, turned to the on position. The gas tank was empty. They believe he arrived home, and perhaps out of exhaustion, he left the car on, and went to sleep. Near where the car was is a vent, which authorities believe is was circle the lethal doses of carbon monoxide inside the home. I’m not sure how they measure the level of the gas, but in the news they mentioned that 10 is a lethal level –the level inside the house upon entering was 60.

They were a family of five, 3 boys, mother and stepfather, that moved recently from Puerto Rico, and were temporarily living with their Uncle and Aunt (the Gonzalez). They youngest boy went to school at Camelot, same school my son goes to. He didn’t know the child, but he mentioned that the school faculty had a meeting early in the morning, and that he saw the teachers were crying when the meeting was over.

She was to be flown in from Puerto Rico (last night) with the help of that neighbor and his family. I understand he has been taking care of everything until she arrived, and even then all throughout funeral arrangements and all.

I remember speaking with Nayda, the mother of the three boys, one day after school when I was sharing with her and a few other moms an Avon brochure. I remember saying to her I wouldn’t forget her name, because mine is Zaida (they are pronounced the same, “nigh-dah / sigh-dah”, save for the ‘N’, or the more common pronunciation when in English “nay-dah / zay-dah”), and we have one of the same last names in common, Colón. No, I certainly won’t forget her name.

Yesterday evening, I sat outside as the sun settled, with so many thoughts going through my head. What would it be like for Luz to return home, a home which once was filled with all that youthful energy and laughter… now to a home somber, silent, empty? The mornings in which I sat outside, walked around the lake, sat to talk with the horses, I’d see her, watering her plants, those she keeps in planters right outside her sliding doors. I’d wave hi… now I think it would’ve been nice if I’d stopped and taken some time to sit with her in those mornings, on her cream plastic chairs… it would mean so much more to her now when I go visit her, and offer my condolences. I sat out until Mrs. Gonzalez arrived last night to her home, a home now forever changed. At her doorstep lay lit candles, flowers, cards and a balloon -a neighborhood reaching out as only one can in such time of grief.

OK... News just now, 6 people were found dead inside a house to the south of us here in East Orlando --right behind my house, across the lake.

I'm still watching as police and other authorities, plus news teams are covering this...

:::

[edited to include pictures]

Continue reading "6 found dead" »

I hadn't known Solonor to take a quiz online, but would you look at that... suprise, surprise.

That graphic is SO ME!
Ok, ok... I'm out to lunch. Blog ya later!

via Solonor

Tonight is Full Harvest Moon, aka Blood Moon.
Don’t miss the Total Lunar Eclipse tonight; read more about it here: Science at NASA

Image credit: Loyd Overcash, Houston, Texas, USA

Thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts, here and via email. I'm having a hard time with this because I'm SO against medications. They don’t take to me. I remember once they had to keep me in the emergency room, gave me 3 shots of Demerol, before I finally started feeling better from the pain. Same with anesthesia (for when they operated me for breaking my nose), twice before it finally took to me. I'll take medications when necessary, but that usually happens when I've exhausted all other natural or alternative methods. Hence, where I stand now.

I can give a medication a fair try, however, if it has no effect on my illness, but in turn I suffer the side effects, why on earth would I continue poisoning my body? I’m very sensitive, very attune to my body. I can feel the effects of some herbal teas within minutes, so needless to say, I trust my body and my feelings.

Continue reading "Thoughts on asthma, depression, and my prescribed medication" »

But I'll let my son tell you about it. ;o)

Go look. BBB!

... one of my works in progress. Since I've been sick for a while, I made my downtime somewhat productive. So, it's up. At least I can smile about that! :o)

My online book haven... a niche for me to keep all my bookish stuff, what's on my reading list, BookCrossing fun, quotes pertaining to books and reading, maybe some articles and interviews, and whatever else strikes my fancy. I've already posted a few book reviews that have been previously published; I will get to posting more soon.

note: I'm hoping to make CaféBook a reading group as well, so any of you that would like to participate, chime in. :o)

Go see CaféBook.

Today, my chest aches, seems my spasm isn't so tight anymore, but I woke to find myself wheezing. Yup, happens every time nice cool weather rolls in. My kids pediatrician could tell how miserable I've been feeling just by looking at me; it was so that he made a call and got a lung specialist to squeeze me into her schedule today.

Instead of dropping my current meds, today I got three more instead.

So now it is not only Flexeril, Amoxicillin, Pseudovent… why it is also Advair, Effexor XR, and Prevacid (the last two being capsules -because more capsules to swallow is so much fun!).

No, don’t even try to diagnose. If there’s anything out there, I’ve got it, and then some.

Effexor… she believes I’m suffering anxiety and depression, that perhaps that might triggering my asthma. Really? You think? How about having bronchitis for three weeks straight? What about a walking pneumonia, like last December, would that do the trick? Or maybe it’s acid reflux? WTF? In any case, I now have all 3 medications and I get to see her in two weeks. Then for sure she will know (by way of elimination?) what I have and do not have.

Anybody else has a prescription you want me to try for you, you know, see if it works?

Biketoberfest is rolling, and I'm here, not doing much, with a horse in my throat. I want my mommy!

ehem... so anyway, I watched the Sox and Cardinals last night -whew! What a tight game that was, and what a wonderful team. I'm impressed, and now I wanna see the Birdies go buh-bye.

My son (BlogBoy) believes boys will become extinct. I have no f-ing clue as to where he got this, or how he arrived to this conclusion, but I'm not about to tell him just yet... I like how he's telling his friends upstairs (same age as he is) of this theory he's presenting. Too funny!

Ok, ok... I promise I'll tell him, I just think its fun and funny, maybe because I have nothing better to do --since I feel I've been sick forever-- or because I'm bored, oh so bored.

I hate what they do to me, and as much as it is against every fiber of my being, I'm having to take them. From antibiotics to muscle relaxant, I'm having to down them all.

Yes, I'm suffering a most horrible bout of musculoskeletal spasm... no wonder it hurt so much when trying to take a deep breath. Bronchitis has gotten better, though. I can hardly sit up with my back straight, let alone walk. The doctor said he didn't know how I managed to get to the hospital on my own. Did you know you can bruise your ribs due to coughing?

This is how it feels to me -like I'm downing poison. Every 6, 8 and 12 hours, there's always something I should be taking -doctor's orders. What's worse is that even the Flexeril I'm taking for relaxing my muscles, only slows me down, in the head, and makes me sleepy. My muscles don't feel relaxed any.

What I want is a massage therapist, acupuncturist, the scent of candles and nice soft music.

Shit. It's taken me a full 37 minutes to write just these few little lines. :o(

Wow... it's been a few years since I've watched a great game, such as the one I just watched tonight. I haven't played the game for even longer. But I'm witness to this amazing win: Sox beat Yankees 10 - 3.

Born and raised in NY, I've always loved that Yankees, yet I haven't followed them for some years, or baseball at all for that matter. But this... this was a wonderful and amazing game. Well played. I'm glad I came to watch the games only today... I would have hated betting against my friends out there to this outcome!

I'm taking my dreams online. New category at Museful.

If nothing else, it'll give you a good idea of what kind of freak I am goes on in my head when I'm sleeping.

Have you ever been so sick, that you get so bored, that you start forgetting stuff, like your head goes floating away?

I think I was going to say something important here.

Then again, maybe not.

I am Indie Girl
Click on the picture below to read more:


Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz
at CookingToHookup.com

via Monique

I'd like to see the guys take the quiz for their girl... :o)
What kind of girl is she?

Spoiler! If you didn't watch it yet -- GO AWAY!

Continue reading "Peacekeepers... do your duty" »

Plan for today:

• Take kids to doctor's appointment for a follow-up check-up
  
• Take kids to school; go home
  
• Do some laundry
  
• Clean dishes and kitchen
  
• Lunch
  
• Make a couple of phone calls (work related)
  
• Called a friend I've been worried about
  
• Mow the lawn
  
• Shower
  
• Pick up kids from school
  

How it played out:

• Took the kids to the doctor's appointment
  (+ they got their flu shot!) mind you, you didnt' miss anything with the hair-raising show they put on... after that, of course, they wanted daddy, not me. :o(
  
• It was two late by the time we were out it was 2pm - so no school, straight home
  
• Prepared lunch
  
• Made my phone calls - not the news I was hoping for, but definitely the news I knew I would receive :o/
  
• Called my friend; wasn't there -left a message
  
• Pleased my kids by playing Monopoly for two hours
  

...And now I'm here, wanting that shower, kids asking for dinner, headachy, craving coffee, and feeling blue. Yeah, I really wanted that job, but they have the temp, and in fairness to her, two weeks aren't enough to prove yourself. And if she is doing a good job, there is no need to make any changes. So I'm glad to know that's the reason for me not being hired. I've never not landed a job I interviewed for, but being as bittersweet as this is, it's not so bad.

Guess it wasn't for me... not yet, not this time. Maybe later. ;o)

Most excellent! So... watched it twice.

Yeah, call me couch potato. Nothing better to do when sick but eat soup, drink lots of water and tea, and watch TV.

Edited - (3am): I lied. I watched it for a third time. Left my studio, went downstairs for a drink, and who would have thunk it -they were giving it yet again. Encore, encore!
*grin*

I was looking forward to so many things today, it being the weekend and all, but most of all our Orlando MetroBloggers / Webloggers MeetUp (although only MetroBloggers had confirmed) first meeting. Not to mention the yummy food; we were going to meet at Kobe. It's been postponed, mostly cause a few of us are sick.

Now I'm just sick of being sick, and so are my kids. And bored. Very, very bored. Which leads to trouble with kids sometimes. They played, they drew, they watched movies, ate drank, napped, and fought. All in a day...

So I did some of all that, too. I read a little, drew a little, watched "Something's Gotta Give", which was awesome, very funny. I laughed. Didn't think I'd do that today. Wait, yesterday -it's Sunday already.

Plus, I wrote two little Haiku up at Museful, describing best and worst moments in my life. I also fit laundry in between everything I did. No rest for mom, can't call in a sick day.

You are glucose. People feed off of you. You are
sweet, caring, and a source of energy for
everyone around you. You can inspire others
with your creativity and depth, and you can
keep people alive when in times of famine.
People love you...or at least the way you
taste.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

via Clayton.

All three of us are sick... both my kids and I. :o(

Went to bed at 5:30am with my daughter, woke a couple of hours later, and am awake still. Ran a fever most of the day, and my throat is killing me.

Sad, really, but I wasn't going to miss the cool breezes outside, so I grabbed a throw and sat out for a nice long while, me and my willow tree. Autumn, beautiful wonderful Autumn, I welcome your crisp embrace.

And now, to follow these three ladies: ASB, Jen, and Monique...

Name THREE of your...

Pet Peeves: drawers left open, my stuff out of place, people who try to impose themselves or their beliefs on others
Favorite Sounds: my children's laughter, cat's purr, wind
Favorite Flavors of Candy: chocolate, coffee, cinnamon
Biggest Fears: failure, loss, clowns
Biggest Challenges: accepting there are some things I can't change, letting go, falling asleep
Favorite Department Stores: I don't shop them
Most Used Words: hey, lady, geez
Favorite Pizza Toppings: mushrooms, black olives, jalapeños
Favorite Cartoon Characters: Snoopy, Bugs Bunny, SpongeBob
Movies Recently Watched: Frequency, Brother Bear, The Secret Garden
Favorite Fruits: cherries, plums, grapes
Favorite Vegetables: broccolli, asparagus, carrots

BookCrossing was awesome Tuesday night. My son BlogBoy came along, and we got to see Masked, AnnMarie, and Jenn! About time too, eh, lady? Woohoo! Terri was also there, along with both daughter and grandchild (which are both beautiful and look a lot like her), as well as Ed, and a few others. Afterwards we went to the comic book store, as Masked had invited my son, treating him to a comic of his choice –which wasn’t easy task, as my child is now addicted to comics, and he was in blissful comic book heaven. Klutzy managed to leave with a Wonder Woman stash, much to her delight. I’ll have to revisit, since there were quite a few things that caught my eye.

Since Cranky couldn’t make it (prolly cause she was working the desk inat Memphis, LOL), I gave her a call. It was very refreshing to talk with her. :o) I also owe her and her hubby the gleeful time my son and I spend pouring over his new comics.

However, I did come home to my daughter suffering a acute asthma attack. I haven’t slept since, only an hour earlier today (or yesterday by the time I post this), when I was supposed to be watching Angel reruns on TNT and fixing dinner. The only reason why I was able to squeeze in an hour nap was because my kids fell asleep. Now both my kids are sick, running fevers, and I’m not feeling too hot myself, either. My studio is now crowded with sleeping bags and books to spend the time with my kids, and also to get some drawing done, as well as finish my site redesign. So, if I break something, just know I’m fiddling with the layout. I know I’ll probably change it again soon, but I’m hoping that when that happens it will be with my own art. And that’s a good thing… a very good thing.

*Yawn*
I want sleep.

It's been like one thing after another lately, going on two months now.

Today was not an exception. Just a bunch a little things. Watched Brother Bear tonight, I can't believe I've missed it all this time! Yeah, weeping started there.

Then my son broke my new candle. This is just material, yes, but it held deep significance and is not replaceable right now.

I was on my way to my studio and heard my kids talking among themselves. They were supposed to be sleeping over an hour ago. Anyhow, I listened in, and it was deep, deep conversation. My ten year old was teaching my five year old some facts of life as he knows it. Mostly, the conversation was about the events of Sept 11, 2001. He was explaining how that day was so important and changed our lives –kid’s point of view. He began saying: "it happened on 9.11.2001, just 3 days before my birthday". The knot on my throat was almost instant. I didn't know he had so vivid details of it. He did a great job of explaining what had happened. My daughter didn’t ask why. Guess that question is for another day.

It’s hard enough to try to make sense of the world we live in as an adult.

Never thought my children would come to experience events like this in their lifetime. They are beautiful, and simple, not really complicated human beings, brimming with love and tenderness, caring, sharing, and innocent.

Sure, I say this today, when I'm involved in so many creative things.

What's in my head right now?

must.get.coffee
did i save that?
i'm hot
hungry too
½ 2 p

Because she felt moved to walk on up here, and say "Mom, can I put some of my lipstick on you?"

Of course, I said yes, and here's proof. Pucker up!

Geez, no rest for the wicked, and hardly any blogging time either. *sigh*
What have I been doing for this last little while? Job hunting. Couple of interviews which have gone well, but only one place I really have my heart set on. What's the catch? They have a temp in the position, and if she does a good job, why let her go, you know?

I'm still tryin' to catch up with my fave blog reads, which, if you are over there on the side, you're sure to see me landing around there sometime today.

I did get to visit Hunny Hive, and I like her new layout! Plus the Queen Bee's son has his own blog, and better yet, he's quite poetic. Go see at Game Domain.

Working on some art and some site redesign. Think it's time to dress this up a bit. Also doing some preliminary work, logo and site design for a business my friend and I are developing. That will take a while to launch, because we are also working on the products; lots of paperwork, too. All I can share on that matter, but I will tell ya, I'm having fun!

Sad news which I'll make short: my aunt underwent Mastectomy (the surgical removal of a breast due to breast cancer), so I didn't make the Breast Cancer walk last weekend. Anyhow, to those who knew, thanks for your support and for keeping in touch. :o) Now I'll be sending my pic and donation to the Third Annual Blogger Boobie-thon. You should join in, too.

Things are somewhat back to normal at home, and so I've been doing a little painting. Oh, how I've missed it. I hate when weeks go by without as much as a bit of charcoal or pencil caressing some paper. You see, artists like need to do it everyday. ;o)

So... that about gives you an idea of why I've been so scarce.

will try catching up with everyone, as well as your blogs.

Lot of work to do this week. Tempus Fugit -but not to my advantage.

and I filled the following requests today.

   requested by Luka

  
requested by Monique

  
requested by Jenn

Some of these shots will make my Beyond Focus photoblog. :o)

Thanks to those who have made their requests so far. I'll be filling more requests, so tell me what you want to see!

**
Edited to include a few details for the pics in the extended section.

Continue reading "They told me what to shoot..." »

A photo meme that sounds like too much fun to pass up. So here goes:

Think of 3 pictures you’d like to see. Leave whatever you’d like to see in the comments. Things around my house, or whatever .... something I can take a picture of easily. I’ll post them as the requests come in. If I can’t, or won’t, take a picture of something you’ve requested, I’ll let you know.

Snagged this one from Luka at incogoblogo.

I am:

Syntax Darkness

I find it fitting. :o)
This was a kewl one.

Get your new handle and show your l33tness --> Hacker Handle Generator

via Branille

Week 86

1. Diminishing:: waning
2. Fed up:: of hurricanes
3. 3:00 AM:: "i must be lonely"
4. Interfere:: interruption
5. Often:: regular
6. Hay:: is for horses
7. Prediction:: to see
8. Homophobia:: overrated
9. Booty call:: never a bad time for one
10. Enunciate:: something i try on regularly

Still windy, rainy and gusty here, but we're all ok. Might have some minimal roof damage, nothing significant. The lake behind the house looks like a little raging sea. Impressive. My little willow tree is laying flat on the ground, but is still hanging on. I really thought I'd lose it this time. Strong spirit, my willow.

Power went out just briefly. I know a few things have slammed against the house. Heard all kinds of things throughout the night. I haven't slept, so I might do so soon. Spent the night watching the news, looking outside, making sure the panels were holding and everyone slept ok, then watched a few movies. Let's see: Wrong Turn, Kill Bill Vol. 1, Matchstick Men, plus a few series episode reruns Stargate SG-1 and SFU. Played Monopoly and Poker with the kids. Fun way do wait out Hurricane Jeanne.

Family is safe, and some of my local friends I know are too. If we haven't communicated yet, drop a comment here and let me know you are ok too.

Did any of you wonderful readers record tonight's season premier of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation? Please, anyone?

I missed it! I cannot believe that I missed the episode I've been waiting for, over any other show I watch. **SOB** I had to another very important and pressing matter, and when I was done, so was the show.

If you have it, good! What can I do for you? ^_^

:::

Here's something that I thought might interest all of you. Makes you go "Hmm."

Check this out: http://www.nixtro.com/pentagon121.swf
(link opens in new window)

AWESOME!!! CSI: NY rocks... and it starts at the intro!

NOTE: If you didn’t watch tonight’s episode of CSI: NY ---> GO AWAY!! I’m talking about it, and reading this will spoil it for you. Maybe.

I love CSI: NY! Love “Mac” (Sinise) and Stella (Kanakaredes), and the rest of the crew, great team, and a good overall feeling. Chemistry and pace in the show has got me hooked.

The episode was great. Really interesting to me was the way the killings took place, since I've been studying medical terms and anatomy lately. Trying not to say too much about the episode here.

I also like how different the characters are, now that there are three shows… I mean, Grissom, usually so cold, his emotions are hard to show, and then here’s Mac, who has been scarred by the death of his wife -of course, how could they not weave it in there- on 9.11.01. Emotions everywhere.

My favorite line in the show: “[…] Her breath is still in there.”

Same time, same place next week, you know exactly where I'll be. ;o)

Something my son started doing today, another category for his blog. I'm totally jazzed about it, because he's always telling me all these yummy details about spiders, snakes, gators...

Smart little man. I'm loving the way he writes, and how he loves to do research on his chosen subjects. He even found pertinent links to his topic online!

Yeah, I bask in the blissful makings of a geek.

Go read about two of his new favorite subjects: Blog Boy Blues.

Why couldn't it have been one of the ladies?

Sad. Still, made for a good CSI: Miami premier.
[Note the use of the word good, not great.]

I still deeply love the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigation over the spinoff and watch it daily, back-to-back, on Spike TV; hoping CSI: NY does the name justice. ;o)

Link to me from you blog or webpage, post the URL in the comments section of this post so I can go see, and you get a Gmail invite.

First come, first serve; 6 to go. Sweet and simple.

Easy way of getting yourself some Gmail. :o)

Borrowing this from both Sean and Jason.

Now: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (back to back)
Later at 10PM: CSI:Miami Season Premier - someone is going to die.

These series just keep getting better and better.

Orlando MeetUp MeetUp tonight at 8PM, but no place was selected. Bummer.

Orlando Art MeetUp is Thursday, but I'm not sure I'll make that one, since I had previous plans in place.

My calendar is fillin' up!

1. Pointless:: getting up in the morning sometimes
2. Sadistic:: hmm, gotta think about this one
3. Bunny:: books i've read with my children
4. Betrayal:: woven in everyone's life
5. Oliver:: I wonder how many people will write "Twist"
6. Star Wars:: can't wait till the next movie
7. Let it ride:: wanna take the bike out for a weekend away
8. Ray of light:: inspiration for painting
9. Tight:: black
10. Gadget:: thing-a-magig

That's right, I'm walking. Join me on this five mile walk to make breast cancer history -just drop a comment below. :o) Of course, you can also help by making a donation on the personal page I've set up for online donations only. I've set my online deadline to September 30, (my b-day). Remember, a little goes a long way...

Do it for you or someone you love.

Death in the family on Tuesday, in-laws side of the family, but since they're located in Puerto Rico and we weren't able to travel there... not much to say in here.

It's hard not to be able to say goodbye, or be with loved ones through times like these.

All that plus Jeanne tearing the lil Island apart... family on both sides are without power or water, but safe and in good health.

*sigh*

I'm blue, dark and very blue.

And I posted his picture at Beyond Focus.

Pay him a visit at Blog Boy Blues.

.... AND here's a drawing of him I did a while back, yup, about 5 years ago.

I told Jen earlier I'd post these pics I took a back on August 17. I was on the road when I saw this, and immediately pulled over to take a quick shot.

I've never seen anything like this before? Do any of you know what it is?

(Click on the images for a bigger view)
(edited: moved them to the extended entry section)

Continue reading "What's this?" »

OMG!

Awesome! Just asbolutely-fucking-awesome.

Gonna watch it again in an hour. Yes, it was that good. :o)

Go there: HBO: Six Feet Under

What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Too funny! Thanks Monique. ;o)

Like the title said. Today was very relaxing day. I needed it. I'd gone insane had I stayed indoors. So, I decided to draw for a bit, but I wasn't really into it. Kids wanted to go to the pool, so I decided I should join them. Took along Mists to continue reading, but the water was so inviting! I'll curl up with the book as soon as I finish this post. (I just realized it's tomorrow already, sheesh.)

Soon as we were out of the pool and all showered, I felt the itch to grab my camera and take shots of my kids. They were exhausted, but they are always so eager to let me take pictures of them. Like today, they usually forget that I'm holding the camera, and they start talking, and all these wonderful things start evolving. I love how openly they talk to me, without censoring or choosing their words. It's so awesome! Anyhow, I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but once I got into it, I couldn't stop shooting. Of course, 40 minutes and 32 pictures later, I started fiddling with my results.

I posted one of my faves at Beyond Focus. I submitted to the PhotoFriday challenge "Blossom". Go see, and tell me what you think.

Because I know the drill...

1. Self-esteem:: unconditional
2. Migraine:: i had one all week. all gone now!
3. Phoebe:: Charmed
4. Nervous:: yes, very, more like anxious
5. Puntual:: hmm... assuming this is punctual, i usually am.
6. Liver damage:: cleanse your liver daily with lemon water early in the morning, otherwise, you're screwed
7. Legal disclaimer:: i should add one here ;o)
8. Reverend:: who?
9. Supple:: my ass
10. Binder:: my BA binder must be updated with the latest info

What a wuss.

She left and called today from NC saying she is now headed toward NY. Why would she leave knowing Ivan is very likely headed this way?

Beats me.

My son just wrote a most interesting post. It's a true story of when we had to give our dog up, due to health issues in the family. It was very interesting to read my son's point of view of his loss, and it brought me to tears.

This is something he's working on in school, and that it's not finished yet, but he felt it was good enough to post it. I think so, too. He even asked me to put a picture of him and our dog. I believe it added the perfect touch.

I sure hope he continues writing. For a nine year old soon to be ten, I think he writes pretty swell. :o)

Read it here: Blog Boy Blues

What? You don't currently have a Gmail account? (How sad.)
Are you a loyal reader? (Hmm... there's still hope for you yet.)
Have you commented on my blog before today? (Things are really starting to look up for you!)

I have 3 invites left.
Want one? Good.
Meet the requirements stipulated above? Better!

Leave your name and email addy in the comments.

First come, first served. ;o)

The next couple of shots just before retreating indoors at 2PM on the 4th. Stepped out of the house, took a shot to the left, immediately turned and shot to the right. See the difference in lighting? It was eerie to be outside.

Below, on the extended entry section, are shots just before 7PM the same day, when the wind was really picking up and the clouds were showing a most beautiful and colorful display. The spot you see near the bottom of the image is a football, from the kids upstreet getting their game on just before heading indoors.

Continue reading "Before and After" »

I'll be posting some pics here, ones I shot throughout Frances' visit.

I'll start with the ones just before Frances arrived.

See them in the extended entry section.

Continue reading "Pictures tell a story" »

These past few days have felt like a week. I've gone through pretty much all the moods know to man, specially today. I was immensely irritated, and a bit bored. I was also excited, chasing after storms from the comfort of a room upstairs armed with a camera and a TV remote.

Now I’m feeling for all those folks that have lost everything to this hurricane. The sights on the tube are unsettling. We were lucky, and I’m grateful. Some of the people I know have lost power, and in some cases slight property damage. For the most part, all of them are ok.

I didn’t get to formally mention, only placed a link on a post, that I’m now writing for MetroBlogging Orlando. Check it out! We're a nice group, all from our city, talking about how we live and what we do in our City Beautiful. Of course, our City Beautiful is quite a bit frazzled now. As you can imagine, most of our posts had to do with Hurricane Frances, as she came through and unleashed all her fury on us. Now we are left to deal with the aftermath, and it’s not pretty.

There was a beautiful break in the sky, and I did snapped a picture of the clouds. They were doing this amazingly beautiful dance! I was able to step outside for a few minutes and capture it, a little calm within the storm.

Now we're left to pick up the pieces, or prepare for Ivan, 'cause he looks like he's wanting to pay us a visit.

Only slept about 5 hours since Thursday. I'm headed to bed.

I hope you got a chance to see the earlier clip (two posts down). Here are some more webcam clips for you. I apologize they are so tiny, but this is all I have working right now.

:::
Update: Sorry. I deleted the clips because they were not working. I'll post them up again when I have them all figured out. ;o)

Oh joy, it's Labor Day. This weekend totally sucks.

I know, I should be grateful. [tsk, tsk] I'm here, safe, with my family, keeping in touch with friends. I'm also lucky to have power and water. There are so many others that will return from the shelters only to find that their home isn't there anymore. :o(

Frances is still looming above, bringing with it endless rain, and some serious gusts of wind. Today, the focus is on the possibility of tornados being spun. Most of Central Florida is under a Tornado Watch or Warning. wheeee...

I'm tired, sleepy and bored.

I shot this tiny video clip outside today, when the wind broke for a little bit. Time was 6:50PM.

Make sure you see this now, since I'll be taking it down later.
I hope the link works for you.

[Edited to delete the clip because it wasn't working.]

We're all doing fine right now. So far, so good. Still have water and power, and I'm hoping it keeps that way. I'm just simply exhaused from playing and waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

I'm feeling quite irritated and bored. Kids want to go play by themselves now, so I'm thinking coffee and a bit of reading.

My friend just called me a freak. But she was the one that asked the question. Geez...

After Charley she asked if I thought that we would be hit again by another hurricane this season. My answer was a simple yes. She couldn't leave it at that, so she asked why. *sigh* I said I didn't know why, but I had a good sense that we were going to be slammed by several of them. I told her that they might not be huge, but very close between, and that they would hit us inland strong. She rolled her eyes and walked away.

She called me a few minutes ago, "just wanted to let you know we are holding up alright, and by the way, did you hear about Ivan?" This was followed by an awkward silence, 'cause I knew what was coming next. "You know, Zee, you really are a freak."

I knew it was her calling; I shouldn't have answered the phone.

There you have it, another one *might* be coming. Charley #3, Frances #6, will the next third number (Ivan #9) make landfall? I'm just glad it wasn't me who brought the numbers thing up. That's just scary. I'm just hoping Frances doesn't strengthen when she hits the Gulf, cause that still leaves her with all her baggage being dumped right on us.

Power flickering, but we still have it. It's already gone out less than a mile from here. Stopping in as promised to keep you updated. Posted a bit at Metblog Orlando.

We are getting slammed here, and this is nowhere near over yet. Seems amazing that this storm has been on land for over 11 hours and relatively hasn't weakened as much as originally expected.

Anyway, since I still have power, I'm going to venture with some coffee. Perhaps some French Vanilla or a tablespoon of Kahlua? Since I have practically gone without sleep, its technically not early for me to be drinking... LOL!

Some ugly gusts are sweeping through this area, Waterford Lakes, right now. It's 3:38am, and the pressure can be felt against the sides of the house.

So far, we're all ok here at home, thankfully. I'll keep you all posted here and at Orlando MetroBlog.

I'm hoping all my fellow bloggers in the area keep safe.

... and she's feisty... and she's feisty. I was out earlier this morning, and could see Frances’ rain bands coming in, moving really fast. Then the calm. Later, another band.

It’s gusting winds for the most part outside. An infinitesimal prelude of things to come. This storms eye has begun to shape tightly, and it’s a little more than 70 miles wide itself. When it hits land later tonight, touching down in Melbourne it seems, we well be feeling those hurricane force winds all the way here in Orlando.

Curfews are in place throughout Florida; Orange County-wide curfew begins tonight.

For the most part, people have been cooperating with state officials, and communities are coming together tightly.

All for now; more updates later.

There's a lot of this going on around here. IMHO, there's gonna be a lot more to come.

There's this one tree in particular I thought might not be there after Charley struck. To my surprise, it's still standing. And I'm glad. I lost my reference photos through one of our moves, and I was able to shoot a few more.

See.Tree.Here.

That's almost what it feels like out there. Just got back from purchasing panels. They were sold out at the first 3 places we went to (i.e. Lowes, Home Depot). I'm not exagerating when I say everyone is out there, purchasing supplies and getting ready to board up their doors and windows.

Doesn't seem to be as much about the hurricane and how massive it is, but about the debris that will be sling-shot and rocketed when the winds start gusting.

Category 4 with sustained winds of 140 MPH, and gusting much stronger than that.

Again... 'nother hurricane coming this way. Not to jazzed about this situation.

Fairly alarmed.

Nice picture here. She's quite photogenic.

See Puerto Rico there? (Frances makes the Island look so insignificant.) Well, that's where my mom is. I barely got a few minutes of talk time with her over the phone today because my cell phone is really messed up. Same as when Charley beelined thru here.

grrr...

I'm going to bed.

Yes, another quiz. This one was VERY interesting.
Uh, dunno 'bout the results, tho.

eXpressive: 8/10
Practical: 6/10
Physical: 6/10
Giver: 4/10

You are a XPYT--Expressive Practical Physical Taker. This makes you a Player.

You are clever, sexy and sexually oriented. You know what you want and how to get it. You command attention in a room of strangers, as your charisma, your personality and your spending habits are all oriented toward making an impression on your target sex. You pay attention to details.

You reel people in easily, but have a harder time keeping them around since you are just as demanding in a long term relationship as you are on a night out. Combine your demanding nature with the fact that you're hard to keep up with and easily bored, and you get a recipe for problems with fidelity.

In a conflict, you're brutal -- you know how to unleash one cutting remark that turns a normal fight into a brawl or a breakup. Your general attitude is you just don't have time for fighting -- if you feel like your current partner doesn't understand you, you know you can find another one.

You may see yourself in a parent and dislike his/her choices, so you want to avoid them for yourself. You feel confined by social pressures, both to pair up and stay paired. It will (and should) take you years to settle (and for you, it may really feel like you're settling).

Please use a condom.

*ehem*

You know you want to do it, too. Just promise to share your results. ;o)
Here's the link: 20 Questions to a Better Relationship

I've finally updated my photoblog, Beyond Focus. I really messed up the site when I moved to TCH, but now I'm finally done with the redesign.

Please make sure you update your links to my gallery, since the URL did change:
http://beyondfocus.innerzinc.com/

...I didn't get a chance to see when I lived with my parents because they had some violence in them.

Tonight? Edward Scissorhands. [No, don't laugh. Saw it for the first time tonight.]

My thoughts? I hate that I didn't get to see this movie growing up. Glad I finally saw it tonight. Love Johnny Depp, not as much as Orlando Bloom, but definitely up there. hehe I used to enjoy that series Johnny was in, 21 Jumpstreet. As a teen, I thought they were all so cool. Imagine how I felt watching him star in Pirates of the Carribean, along with Orlando.

*grin*

< /drooling>

Today? The flipside. Yup, so good she got a star for good behavior in the lunchroom. [insert angelic music here]

Me, still feeling the angst of depression, but to hear good news about my girl today did bring a smile to my face.

So today has been one of my low days this month. Yup, it's actually been a while since my depression kicked in. Drugs only make it worse, because I get prescribed the large doses which do nothing but deliver all the side effects. No thanks. Three doctors in my family and not one can help me. And oh, they've tried. So have many others. That's why I don't do drugs. I even delivered both my children without epidural, IV or anything. I've found other resources which have worked well for me, mostly alternative/integrative therapies. But even so, I get my blue days, like today.

This afternoon, however, I received negative news from my little princess' teacher. My little princess did something that little princesses shouldn't do. Seems they were throwing food at lunch time, two little girls, only mine didn't respond when they called her attention. I hear two other people, a teacher and a Dean of who knows what (something to do with behavior) spoke with my lil princess and asked her to behave. Well, she didn't like all that went on, and decided that throwing her lunch tray on top of the other girl would somehow send the adults her message. Five year old lil princess on a short fuse.

*sob*

Baking today. :o) Banana Nut Bread with a twist: I've decided to add some Kahlua® Coffee Liqueur! I'll tell ya if it did the trick. ;o) I'd also love to try my hand at mini-loaf and mini-muffins. Those always look so cute!

Darn, I got hit hard by comment spam last night. Hadn't happen for a while. Funny, cause they waited till just after I got offline to attack. Creeps.

But they're dust now, slayed by Jay Allen's MT-Blacklist. *grin*

________

Had to go downstairs and take a breather. Just got